An Open Letter to Employers

I’ve been feeling bad and a bit unsure of myself since turning down that last job offer. I’ve been looking online for something that looks worthwhile, at least. I can’t find much. Yesterday, at our friend’s house, this topic of conversation came up and I was, once again, given ‘congratulations’ on turning down the job. The people around me began complaining about the state of employment…not Unemployment…employment. I started thinking what a weird world this is. So I came up with the following letter that I should probably send around as my ‘cover letter’ with my resume but I’ll be nice and refrain from doing so.

Dear Sir or Madam;

I am responding to your ad in ______________ regarding your currently open position of ____________________. I have over a decade of experience working in an office environment as a secretary/receptionist and general office manager in a law office. I also have front desk experience in a medical office.

I am organized, contentious, and never late to work. Nor do I ‘call out’ when I’m not ill. I am a hard worker and will work to the best of my ability to complete all tasks you set before me each and every day of the term of my employment with your office/company.

My resume is as follows:

(note to reader* my resume looks much nicer than this but WordPress won’t let me display it properly!)

Lisa Beth Darling
lisabethdarling@gmail.com

Objective: Targeting Office Assisting & Management Opportunities
Administrative professional seeks to utilize ten years of experience in several aspects of office management. Highly organized, efficient and skilled in a variety of office support tasks, including:

Office Organization & Administration	Filing & Data Entry (95 WPM)	Records & Database Management
Scheduling & Calendaring	General Bookkeeping (A/P & A/R)	Contract Creation & Maintenance
Telephone & Front Office Reception	Office Billing

Recent Work Experience

1-Gruskin & Gruskin — New London, CT — Law firm
Legal Secretary, 2003 to 2011

Acted as and provided the sole administrative and executive support within a two-lawyer firm. Managed executive calendar; client appointments, court hearings, appointments with other lawyers and support teams. Responsible for all outgoing correspondence/contracts/documents; letters, legal filings, contracts, wills, powers of attorney et al, bills, payments, internet research, email, ordering of office supplies, computer maintenance and administer database.

“As the sole clerical/administrative support, she (Lisa) had to juggle multiple tasks and worked well under pressure to meet deadlines. In short, she did an outstanding job.”
Richard E. Gruskin, Sole Proprietor, Gruskin & Gruskin. The full letter is available upon request.

2-Eastern Shore Chiropractic—New London, CT— Small Chiropractor’s Office
Front Desk/Billing, 2002 to 2003

Maintained patient medical and billing records, payment posting, patient scheduling, heavy telephone contact with patients and insurance companies.

Education

New London High School -1984 Graduate

Computer Skills:

MS Office: 2007 and 2010	Windows: XP, WIN7, and earlier	Database Management: CATIC, First American	Daily Internet Software: Outlook, Explorer, Firefox	Computer Maintenance Software: Symantec, Norton, CCleaner, MalWare, Defrag, Disk Cleaner
Other Specialties:	Internet Research/Marketing/Relations	Internet Publishing	Graphics Design: Adobe PhotoShop	Web Design: ACE HTML, Coffee Cup	Video: Windows Movie Maker

Now, that you know about me, let’s talk about you, dear prospective employer.

Since your currently open position of ______________ also seems to include the duties of _____________ and of a _______________, I would like to be properly compensated. That is to say, I will do the job of THREE people but I expect the FULL salary (and benefits, if offered) of TWO people in return. In this manner, you are still saving the cost of the pay for ONE person and I am being duly compensated for my time and efforts.

If you would like to check out my FaceBook/Twitter/Blog and so forth, I have no problems with that and will gladly you give you my information once you exchange the information for your own personal FaceBook/Twitter/Blog and so forth accounts.

If you would like to do a background/credit check on me, I have no problems with that. I fully understand your need to know just who you have working for you and will tell you up front that I have never been convicted of any crime, have no criminal history or background whatsoever, the most I have been ‘guilty’ of in the eyes of the law are a few motor vehicle infractions. I would appreciate it if you would kindly ask for permission to run a background/credit check (and such) only AFTER we have met face to face, discussed the job in detail along with the pay I can expect. At that time, I will let you know if your poking through my credit history/background is worth it to me. Kindly do NOT ASK for such information before you have even telephoned me and certainly not in an online job application as I am unaware of your internet security protocols, if there are any. Please be advised that, if required, I will be running my own background check on you as I feel it is equally important that I know just who I am working for. In this day and age, one can never be too careful. You don’t have anything to hide…do you?

If you would like me to work odd hours, say 3 ten hour shifts and then a 5 hour shift, for a total of 35 hours a week–just under “full time” then I expect to be paid in a commensurate manner and will not consider minimum wage for such convoluted hours.

If you would like to have me ‘come in and try out the position’ I am all in favor once we have discussed the hours, the days, the pay, and I have filled out a time sheet and W-4 so that I may be compensated for the day I spend in your office, whether you hire me or not. I do not expect to go unpaid for such time nor do I expect to be told at the end of the day that you ‘need more time to make a decision’ so perhaps I would like to ‘come back tomorrow’.

If you believe that I may be a good fit for your office/business and you are willing to pay a fair wage, then I thank you for your time and attention. I look forward to hearing from you. If not, please disregard my resume.

Sincerely yours,
Lisa Beth Darling

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