TWL-Anybody Wanna Write This F'n Book For Me

Why did I wanna do this again?

Anybody out there know. I could really use an answer right about now.

This book has given me more problems than ANY story I’ve ever written.

NOTE TO SELF: Never ever give another self-imposed deadline…ever!

I like this process a lot better when we just do it at our own pace and do it for us and damn the rest of the world. While I always thought it would be nice/good/great/awesome to develop a ‘following’ it was never my goal. Now that I have one I feel as though I’ve painted myself into a corner. I can’t get out.

That’s nothing against you nice folks, nope it certainly isn’t, so don’t take it personal-like. It’s just…

me.

That’s all. Li’l ol’ me. I don’t really like taking you kind folks into account in my writing. I don’t like being stopped by thoughts such as; Will they like that? Will they think it’s too much? Will they understand that? Will they hate that? Do they know what we’re getting at here?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Yep, liked things much better when I was just giving it away on the Internet and, in some cases, writing things to actually piss other people off. That was fun! Yes, oh yes, it was!

I got another BONZER idea for the story last night as I was finally falling asleep. Oh, man, hey! BILLY GATES ARE YOU OUT THERE??? I really NEED some type of App that would take the ideas from my head, the wonderful ones I have at bedtime, and write them for me as I sleep! You got anything like that? I’ll volunteer for ‘clinical trials’ if it’s a human plug-n-play device.

I have these great ideas then it takes half the day to remember them…if I remember them. In between the ‘ah-ha moment’ and getting to this old computer there’s The Work Day, which is a drag. I hate it when Life gets in the way of the things you really want to be doing. Then I get home and I have to remember what I tried to remember earlier and told myself I most definitely would remember as I fell asleep the night before. That takes a while. It does usually happen, usually. Haven’t gotten that bad yet. I know, I know; leave yourself notes. But I STOPPED doing that ages ago because I always remembered.

Ginko?

Then I get to the file and a little voice unfailing says; You suck. This sucks. It all sucks…you HACK!

Hate that voice. Most days I can’t get past it anymore. I thinks that’s because I also have this energy problem. Not here when I blog. Nope, not then. Everything flows like Mad Dog 20/20 here. Facebook? No problem. I’ll play games and ‘share’ funny, sometimes tragic, pics for hours. Sitting here looking at the file? Getting all fired up? Eh, I’d rather watch ‘Blondie’. After all, he isn’t a hack like me.

Hoping to gather a little liquid courage, I even stopped at the Packy and picked up a 40oz of Coors Light. They actually had Haffenreffer! I almost got it for old time’s sake.

We’re all done with the other ‘new’ stuff and it should be time to go on to the really new stuff but first, a detour. The idea’s great, I love it. Very visual. It fits right in and is a nice enhancement. At some point I’ll actually do it. Some point when I’m not tired (like that ever happens anymore) and I’m not sick. I’ve had this horrible sore throat for days and it *moves*, totally weird. Started on the left. Moved to the right. Moved to the middle. Back to the left. Now it’s just under my left ear. Whenever I swallow it feels like shards of glass.

So here’s my plea to you:

You can write this little bit for me. I’ll dictate it
You can stroke my ego a little and tell me how much you’re looking forward to “Rising Son”…love Ares (any character)…whatever

If you can accomplish either of those I’ll be eternally grateful.

I’m not enough anymore? You pathetic needy writer, you.

Why don’t you do the writing for a change and I’ll blather on in your head at all hours of the day and night?

I guess it just doesn’t work that way.

About these ads