Movie Reviews-Smaug, Elysium, Despicable Me


I’ve seen a lot of movies this Holiday Season…yes I have! Problem is, I haven’t had any time to blog about them. But while I’m coming down off a writing high that we’ll get to in another post I thought I’d offer my uneducated opinion on a few movies I’ve seen recently. After all, as most of you know, if I’m not writing I’m watching a movie that has been added to my ever-growing collection. (Note to Self: Must get new 5 tiered bookshelf for movies!)

THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG: I refrained from reviewing this movie not only for a lack of time but because I wanted to allow space for others to see it in case I gave away any spoilers.

SPOILER ALERT: The ending of this movie sucks salty monkey balls! I sat there listening to ‘Bilbo Baggins’ say; “What have we done?” I watched the screen turn black and had just enough time to think; “Oh that can’t be it” before Peter Jackson’s name hit the screen and the credits ran! I was sooooo pissed I couldn’t see straight!

The Big Guy laughed his ass off and told me; This is how people feel when they read “Child of War-A God is Born”!

Asshole!

Other than that it is a very decent flick and wonderful addition to the new trilogy.

However, I’d wait for DVD if you haven’t seen it yet.

Maybe it’s my old eyes but I’m finding more and more that Blu-Ray is the way to go. The movie was fuzzy. There’s no other way to say it. Parts were very fuzzy and much clearer at home on your own TV in the comfort of your own couch with your own bit of Old Toby.

I do wish they had used Orlando Bloom to play his own father rather than reprising his role as Legolas. The boy has finally grown up and there’s no hiding it. Seeing him as Legolas now is a bit confusing and made the movie a bit harder to follow. I like Evangeline Lily but have a softer spot for Liv Tyler who will always but the ultimate Elf in my book. Well, the penultimate I suppose, let’s not forget about Cate Blanchette. I adored Evangeline in my all-time favorite TV Show LOST but couldn’t really feel her as an elf.

There are many parts that are blatantly CG and I sat there thinking; Really? You’re kidding, right?

But those parts are forgivable up to the end we’ve already spoken of.

I’ll withhold further judgement until “There and Back Again” releases at the end of this year.

If you’re a LOTR Movie Fan go see it, I’m sure you’ll like it. If you’re on the fence wait for Blu-Ray. Overall Aunty Moon gives it a B+.

ELYSIUM: Sucks so badly I don’t recommend anyone watch it. The kicker there is it really could have been a rocketing film! It could have been FAN-Fukin’-TASTIC with just a few tweaks. Jodie Foster’s accent is atrocious! It’s so awful that it totally detracts from her part and you don’t give a flying fig about her. THEN they switch ‘bad guys’ on you in the middle of the flick leaving the viewer completely dissatisfied with the conclusion which is even worse considering the hero dies. I can forgive flicks where the hero dies if the rest of the movie supports it but this one does not. It’s all just a blatant plot device to get you to feel bad for Matt Damon who reeks in this flick. I love him as Jason Bourne.

Aunty Moon gives it a C- and that’s being generous.

LOOPERS: Another horrible flick. It has some interesting twists and I always like Bruce Willis no matter what but other than that…fuhgitabuddit! I can’t see any way to salvage it.

Aunty Moon give it a D.

FURIOUS 6: I love the Fast and Furious movies! I do! I was sad when Paul Walker died. I was. This isn’t a horrible flick if you like this franchise but it’s not the best either. I am thrilled to see Lettie come back. I love Michelle Rodriquez. I think she’s under used in Hollywood and that she’s one badass bitch! The action/driving sequences aren’t quite what we’ve come to expect from these movies and I still have no clue as to why there was a TANK in the vehicle near the end when it was only supposed to be transporting a computer chip. I did, however, like the bad guy. I even went to IMDB to find him and was confused to see he’d been Zeus and Apollo but did remember from both dreadful movies ‘Immortals’ and ‘Clash of the Titans’ (remake). Despite those horrible flicks this guy might have a future in Hollywood. In the back of my mind I could see him playing Ares if we beef him up quite a bit. :)

Rocky? What can I say? I love Rocky! I adore Rocky! He makes me tingle. He’s everything I could want in an action hero or any hero. If he’d just drop the ‘D’ from his name and be ‘Wayne Johnson’ I think he’d have a much brighter future in Hollywood. Right or wrong the name ‘Dwayne’ is…well…it’s not macho…let’s put it that way. ;)

Anxiously awaiting Fast 7 with a heavy heart.

Aunty Moon gives Furious 6 a very solid B.

DESPICABLE ME & DESPICABLE ME 2- Hubby actually asked for these movies for Christmas and I went a little nuts trying to find them. Do you know it’s nearly impossible to find a movie JUST on a Blu-Ray? It seems you MUST also take the DVD and the Digital Copy as well. I got both. I sat through both. I should say that I try very hard NOT to be a fan of today’s ‘animation’. I grew up on hand drawn cartoons. I still think they’re the best. Today’s ‘animation’ tends to give me a headache if I’m not in the right frame of mind.

Thankfully getting into that right frame of mind with these movies isn’t hard. They’re freakin’ hilarious! Even if you don’t have small children around! Stephen Correl;, whom I miss on the Daily Show and never was able to get into his movies, gives a great performance as Gru. He’s totally awesome and funny as hell. The ‘minions’ are a real joy. While the plot is thin and weak and totally been done to death and back, it still works with the first one. Maybe I’m just a softie for 3 girls looking for a home considering I’m an adoptee. Take your pick there. The second movie is rather predictable but still funny.

If you have a few hours to kill and are looking for some good clean fun and you don’t have kids rent these. If you do have small children buy them! These flicks will give you several hours of peace in the future. Aunty Moon gives both of them a B+

I think that’s it for the movies I’ve seen/purchased recently. :)

I know that collection keeps growing. Some may think I’m a ‘hoarder’ when it comes to movies and I would probably have to agree.

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About lbdarling

Dark Erotic Romance Author, Wife, Mother, Pagan, Photographer

Posted on 01/01/2014, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. DIBS ON YOUR UV codes please

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