Protected: You Need to Vent, Turkey

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You Turkey

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If the title of this post made you smirk and you realized that ‘turkey’ doesn’t always refer to the Thanksgiving bird, you’ll probably get a bit more out of this post than someone else.

I’m telling you this Getting Older thing Suh-uh-ucks! It does. Ok, there are good points like wisdom and not giving a fart in the wind about ‘offending’ people who really need a few good Gibbs’ Slaps anyway. And gray hair. I have to admit that. I really do like my graying hair.

I don’t like the touch of arthritis in my right knee. Nope. Not digging that. Not at all. Today it seems I can’t climb a step without holding the rail for dear life or, if there is no rail, doing the crabwalk and going up sideways.

Oh bother.

Going down stairs doesn’t seem nearly as bad. Isn’t that strange?

Well, on the upswing; the hot flashes and night sweats are almost over with :) Want to know a stupid secret? I mostly get hot flashes when I’m shopping. How weird is THAT? At home, nope not really. At work, almost never. Get through the doors at the grocery store and I’m bathed in sweat. The last time I went clothes shopping was no fun at all…well except for the fact that I hadn’t gained any more weight and could grab any 8 or 10 off the rack. I’m still under the size for the “Average American Woman” so…I guess that’s good! In fact, I think I might have lost a few pounds with this SlimQuick shit. It’s strange stuff, I stopped taking it in the afternoon as it was preventing me from sleeping at night but the appetite suppressant is truly First Rate. I’ll sit here STARVING. I go into the kitchen, look at all the food, and go; Nah, that’s ok. Then walk away. I even stopped munching at night watching TV which was my big downfall. I only wake up hungry every now and then in the middle of the night but a full bowl of cereal is no longer necessary. Just a bite of whatever I find is fine. I FEEL a bit thinner which is nice it’s putting a little wiggle back in my walk though that may have more to do with DulcoLax I’m taking nearly religiously. :P

Now for the real turkey.

On Friday I bought a “fresh” turkey for Thanksgiving dinner. Upon getting it home I saw the Sell By Date was…today. I panicked. I asked on FB and got the same advice from everyone; just put it in the fridge, it will be fine.

So I did.

Until today when I chickened out and put in the freezer. Yes, yes, yes, I know…freezing the damn thing for a day is stupid! It is. But, in the end, I just couldn’t risk it. :(

We’re only having 3 people at our Thanksgiving Table (Miss Rebecca is mad at me and has blocked me on FB and she’s not answering my texts) and I have all this food! Oh my! It’s going to take me a while to get used to Miss Nicole living in Michigan and not being at the table with her husband. Now Miss Rebecca and her SO, Hector, will not be joining us. I feel old. I mean…ancient. And angry and hurt and pissed off. I didn’t do anything ‘wrong’ I simply didn’t give in to her latest demand and now I’m persona non grata in her book. Oh well, no one ever said being a parent was easy or that your kids would absolutely love everything you (have to) do.

I hardly know what to do with all of it. I thought about joining the Have a Sailor to Dinner Project but I was too late. There’s a background check. (Did you know that? I certainly didn’t.) I missed the deadline. I guess I won’t have to make everything after all. Sort of a bummer. A nearly 16lbs turkey for 3 people. 10lbs of potatoes, butternut squash, sweet potatoes, corn bread stuffing w/ sausage (hubby’s favorite, I hate it, but upon realizing we’d just be 3 this year I capitulated to letting him make it IN the turkey while I forego my favorite stuffing with apples) gravy, 4 tins of rolls, pies, pumpkin cakes, and then there’s the appetizers, of course. I’m starting to think we should just make reservations for Thanksgiving Dinner from here on out. But, this year, I foresee many turkey sandwiches and much turkey soup in our future. LOL

In any event, if I don’t ‘see’ you again before Thursday and you’re here in the States with me; have a very Happy Thanksgiving!

Remember, Black Friday is just around the corner :)

A Quick Little Tale

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So, I went to bed last night, watched some TV and played a lot of Facebook games while hubby played “Star War Battlefront” in the living room. Eventually, he came up, we watched a little more TV. As we turned to go to sleep I said: “Did you let Mungie in?”

“No,” said hubby, “he’s outside, the rest of them are in.”

For those of you who don’t know, we have four cats of which Mungie/Mongo/Diego is the largest by far. I felt bad about leaving him out there but he had his chance to come in. We went to sleep.

Long about 3am I woke up hungry and couldn’t go back to sleep. I padded down the stairs naked rubbing my sleepy eyes and remembered Mungie was outside. I stumbled over to the sliding door, looked out on the deck, there he was. I opened the door, “Come on, Mungie, let’s go.”

The hulking shadow on the deck stood up, turned around in my direction, and started happily waddling toward me as I held the door for him. He got about a foot from me before the moonlight fell across his face and I saw that familiar mask. “Oh, shit,” I mumbled looking down at the very large racoon coming my way as if he wanted to be pet. Just as he got to the door I closed it.

He stopped, hung his head, then came forward again to put his little paws on the door. He looked up at me as if to say; “What’s the deal lady? You called me over here. You said I could come in. Every night I look through this glass and wonder what’s on the other side. C’mon let me in. Please?”

I walked away, sat on the couch, stuffed a few Doritos in my hungry mouth and all I could see in my head was


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