Ho Ho Ho


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Or, ya know, ‘ho ‘ho ‘ho….depends on your POV, I guess.

(You’re babbling!)

Oh, sorry, let me clarify.

Old MacDonald had a ‘ho

E-I-E-O

With a ‘ho ‘ho here

And a ‘ho ‘ho there

A ‘ho ‘ho here and ‘ho ‘ho there

Here a ‘ho, there a ‘ho, everywhere a ‘ho ‘ho

Old MacDonald had some ‘hos. E-I-E-I-O

There. Is that better? Everybody getting on the same page now? I have to admit that this topic has been bothering me for quite a while now but I have decided to remain silent…until now. Why? Well the news brought me this with my morning coffee. ‘Hos (no, sorry,) Victoria Secret linked to Child Labor.

hahahahahaha

Other than Wal-Mart, couldn’t have happened to a ‘nicer’ store!

Let me just throw one small question out there before I really get rollin’ here; Doesn’t the United States still grow cotton in the South? I heard about some war or something a long time ago once in history class that, I seem to recall, mentioned the word ‘cotton’ a lot…along with several other words. But ‘cotton’ was definitely in there.

Living wage. US Worker/Farmer. Blah-Blah-Blah. You already know what I have to say there.

Anyway…back in the Dark Ages when I was youthful teen, I LOVED Victoria’s Secret. Oh they had some of the most BEAUTIFUL and sensual lingerie on the planet. They really did. Their ads–in magazines only at that time–were also very appealing…to their target audience; women. They had long flowing silk peignoir sets that were to die for. Just so totally feminine they made you feel like a woman just sliding your hand over them. Back then the major difference between places like, oh say, Victoria’s Secret and Frederick’s of Hollywood was that VS didn’t make you feel like….a ‘ho. They made you feel beautiful and sexy, not slutty. Yes, yes, there once was a time when ‘slutty’ was NOT what we, as women, were aiming for.

(sigh)

Then VS got a new Ad Company or something. It was shortly after this that I stopped shopping there for two reasons; 1-their prices went through the roof 2-much like Wal-Mart, due to their ads and business practices, I’d just prefer not to shop there.

See, they got on TV with their soft core porn–man, you see more of these chicks in ONE 30 second commercial than you do of any other chick in an entire PG-13 MOVIE…some R rated ones too! They drove men–NOT their target audience–INSANE. In turn, they bought us slutty outfits that we tried to like and wear with a smile even though we knew we did sooo not look like the chick in the ad.

BUT… What’s really killing me is the latest ad campaign for Christmas; Tell Me There’s No Woman in the World Like Me.

OK…there are very natural born women in the world like…YOU. VERY few.

I can get you a shit-wad of them with After Market Parts, Custom Paint Jobs, and Overhauled Interiors, if you want…see the above pictures for references and choices. But if you’re looking for an actual WOMAN…nope, sorry, Charlie, you’re SOL.

BTW, if the target audience is still women shouldn’t it be; Tell HER There’s NO Woman in the World Like HER. That might make me WANT some of their lingerie but if I’m just a second-rate stand in for the high-class ‘hos…I’ll pass, thanks anyway.

Quite a while ago, I began buying under garments at other places. Mostly brands that advertised things like; Real Comfortable Underwear for Real Women. I like that idea. I buy things that match–my hubby seems to like that, me? I don’t really care! In spite of what VS has to tell me!–that are pretty and feminine, that are comfortable and don’t ride up the crack of my ass and that are inexpensive. I used to go for the expensive VS stuff but, let’s just say along with Child Labor, they use Cheap Labor too. Doesn’t take much to tear right through it and there goes $15.00…on one pair of panties! Now the $49.00 matching bra is no good…have to buy another pair of panties.

What a freakin’…’rip off’.

Oh well, you guys out there can drool and dream over the ‘hos…dreaming is still free and you’re still breathing, so g’head. If you really want to tell your lady that there’s no one in the world like her you might try buying something that’s actually more for HER than it is for YOU. Just a suggestion, that’s all.

Speaking of buying…started Ye Olde Christmas Shopping this morning. I had to take Nikki to work, she had to be at Target by 9:00 am and I figured that I would at least start on my quest. We got there and it was 8:39 and I thought; shit, I’ll have to sit in the parking lot for a half-hour until it opens.

We drove into the lot and it was already 1/3 full. I said: “What time does the store open?”

“8 am.” Said Nikki.

Geez. I can remember when stores, all of them pretty much, opened at 9am. I went in, grabbed a cart, started my Good Consumer Christmastime Duties. I managed to get ‘the basics’ or most of them anyway. Had a $25.00 gift certificate so I only $45.00, which was nice. Like Wal-Mart it’s a big place, hollow, cavernous, place and I just sort of wandered around dazed and confused. They moved stuff around since the last time I was there and that always confuses the hell out of me, I hate that. Then I got ‘sticker shock’ looking at the prices. Some things were 40% off, which is supposed to be good, but when I factored in the discount I came up with; that’s a fair price, instead of, WOW! What a great DEAL!

Oh bother.

I stopped in the Crystal Mall and Sears on my way home. I was looking for this thing for hubby and figured Sears would have it. Do you know that, while they sell All 10 Major Appliance Brands-including Kenmore– they ONLY sell Craftsman Tools? Didn’t get anything there. (Sorry, honey.)

Like I said, it’s a start…ya-ho!

Ya-Ho?

Oh…ok….

Yippie-kay-ay…motherfucker!

hahahahahaha

About lbdarling

Beware...the truth is spoken here. If you can't handle that...buh-bye.

Posted on 16/12/2011, in Life and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. I used to love Vs as well. Then they started airing their, just like you said, soft porn commercials. The one that bugged the hell out of me was the one with the milk. I’m sure you’ve seen it, At that point, I turned my nose up at them. There’s a time and place for everything. My daughters were still little, and I though how inappropriate. It wasn’t late night TV, or cable TV. Just regular TV that was basically background noise while I cooked, or we played games. I didn’t want them getting that message.

    VS still has some beautiful things, some slutty, lol! Like I said, a time and place for everything. I wish that they would go back to who they were before, when it was beautiful and sensuous. Completely feminine. It’s a shame that the women who loved them are no longer their target audience.

    Thank you for writing this. You make me chuckle! As for Sears…I KNOW!! I did the same thing a few years back…I felt deflated, lol! I did not want to go searching…

    Anyway,
    Have a great day!
    Sonia

  2. LMAO!!!

  3. There’s at least one if not two VS ads on the TV during my 30min lunch break everyday. I don’t know if it’s putting more on during the holiday’s or what but it really annoys me. It would be nice it they tried to make it seem like they were still trying to sell it to women instead of the soft core porn. Not that I’d ever shop there but it irritates me all the same.

    • Yeah they’re ‘pumpin’ it for Christmas and it’s annoying as hell! If nothing else, I would like to see them run ONE ad campaign that shows real women in their underclothes. The execs should be made to walk right out the front door of the building and ask the FIRST FIVE WOMEN THEY SEE–no matter their, size, age, race…whatever–and ask them to be in the commercial. I think it would be a great learning experience for everyone.

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