My Yearly Hum-Bug Post
I swore I wasn’t going to do it this year; I wasn’t going to let the Season get me down. So far I’ve done alright but as the 12th hour swiftly approaches here it’s starting to wear on me once more. I got past the dates of my parent’s deaths and our little anniversary without falling into a major funk…for once. I think I did ok anyway, who knows?
I seem to be having a bit of trouble holding it together for the next two days.
I know, I know, today of all days is not the day to say ‘bah-hum bug’ and throw a blanket over my head to hide away from the world until the consumerism is over. It is Yule after all, a grand day of celebration. So Happy Yule to all of my Pagan friends! This Yule is gray, dreary, crappy, and rainy. Not the type of thing that puts on in the Holiday Spirit. Top that off with I haven’t been sleeping well, I woke up with a headache and a nervous stomach, ended up taking up a 3 hour nap on the couch, woke up with the same headache and a crick in my neck.
The killer is; we’re actually ok. I know we have to wait to the last minute but so does just about everyone else I know so that should make me feel better or at least let me know I am not alone. Which is one of the main goals of this stupid blog of mine–to let everyone know that we all share common experiences and I don’t necessarily mind hanging mine out ‘to dry’ in public so long as it makes someone else smile or feel a little better.
Friday’s check is all ours. All of it. Come Friday I can go out and buy Christmas dinner–whatever that’s going to be. Cousin sent me a text at 5:34 this morning…5:34! Guy’s got more of our grandpa in him than he’ll ever admit to! LOL. Wanted to know what he could bring for Christmas dinner and I had to tell him I didn’t even know what we’re eating. If it was up to me we’d get a pizza and call it even. On Friday, I can go out and battle the other poor shoppers (like myself) and buy the goodies on the family’s Christmas lists. It’d be nice if people would stop asking for Kindles, iPods, Laptops, AND money…..yes, at least one of them wants all those gifts PLUS cash.
My kids aren’t little kids anymore, while I love them to pieces I no longer feel obligated to buy them big ticket items at Christmas to prove I love them or something equally stupid like that. I couldn’t believe it when Becca asked for a Kindle…last week. The first thing I said to her was; “You don’t read.” So, ya know, why the heck would I buy her a Kindle? No, she wants Kindle Fire ‘cuz it’s like a mini-laptop.
Well, advice is free so here’s mine; Get a better job. Buy yourself one.
If she really wanted that she should have told me weeks ago so I could have ordered the damn thing online and had her ‘shopping’ over and done with in one gift.
At least Nikki didn’t go over the top this year with her Christmas List. I think she’s actually growing up and getting a handle on the Real World. Discovering Christmas isn’t about who got the biggest, shiniest, most expensive gift, but about things that are more meaningful, intimate, and personal. Hopefully, Becca will catch up.
Hubby has seen so many neat tools on TV this year and I want to get him a couple of them. I really just cannot wait for the day when Christmas is just us again. We had two Christmases together without any kids and that was it. By the time the kids move out and we can do things like, oh I dunno, buy ourselves a Christmas cruise, we’ll have grandkids (I almost say ‘ick’ on that one…almost) so I’ll be stuck buying for them. Not that I’ll mind cuz Christmas is a hell of a lot more fun with tiny bright shining wonder-filled eyes around you. I think that’s my biggest complaint that Christmas is no longer magickal it’s just work. It’s fun to do all of those wonderful things like making your husband stick his foot in the fireplace ashes to create Santa’s bootprints and put a sooty thumb print on the glass of milk to show Santa drank it. (Yes, writers write what they KNOW, “Christmas Eve on Olympus” has much basis not just in fact but in my personal life, minus the peppermint oil, though I might try that over the holiday hehehe.) I loved doing those things when the girls were little.
Now it’s just ‘buy me, buy me, buy me’ and rush, rush, rush. Even if I was a millionaire I’d still hate it. In fact, I’ll bet if I was a millionaire all anyone would get for Christmas is a card full of money. Not that it’s a horrible gift, mind you, it’s rather a good gift.
I got a little money until Friday, not much but a little. I could go out and buy the tiny stuff; stocking stuffers, wrapping papers/tape…I have no idea where my scissors are! But money’s a funny thing and I’ve said this before but I am now actually experiencing it; when you get a little you just wanna hoard it. I mean it. I have become SOOOO cheap it’s not funny! There were years when we didn’t even have a bank account, more years when we did that I didn’t give a fig what the balance was because it was in there one day and completely exhausted the next not be seen again until the following week when it would come and go just as quickly. Being ‘in the red’ was a way of life for us. Now if the balance dips below $100.00 I panic. Yeah, go ahead and laugh, I know $100.00 is chump change in the Real World but it’s our $100.00 so I wanna keep it. Want another laugh? In those long ago years if I’d checked the bank balance to see we had an extra HUNDRED BUCKS, I would have been dancin’ on the ceiling and charging out there to get whatever I could for Christmas presents and shopping until I dropped with a big old grin on my face.
Geez, Middle Age is bitch! Not likin’ it…at all.
Ok, ok, ok, I’ll stop bringin’ you down now and ruining your lovely Christmas Season.
I’ll run my ass off on Friday and maybe a bit on Saturday day. I’ll battle Christmas shoppers, drag bags and boxes into the house, lock the bedroom door and wrap for two hours, put the gifts under our tiny living tree and then come Saturday night I’ll be fine, when this is all over and done with there’s nothing left but the unwrapping. But until then I’m likely to be a little bitchy. Sorry.