The first thing I promised myself when I said I’d start down this road again was that I wouldn’t overeat.
Yeah. Forget it.
I did really well yesterday until the chocolate creme donut came into the house. There went all my resolve and by the time I closed my eyes last night for bed–or tried to anyway–I felt somewhere nearly as big as Santa Claus. I had the fire burps all night…ICK! I mean ALL NIGHT, like every ten minutes or so this volcanic gas would erupt up my throat and out my mouth. A few times I swore it was so hot it burned my heart and my lungs. Got up several times to use the bathroom and made hubby giggle. I do pass gas in bed…or anywhere else. I pass gas in the bathroom…that’s it. He thinks that’s like the funniest most f’d up thing on Earth! I say it simply isn’t ladylike to fart in public. Even my kids think I have some type of special cork up my ass or something.
So I laid there and I suffered. I got up and I suffered. I had the fire burbs and really suffered, several times I swore I was cooking from the inside out and then I kept hoping I’d toss up all that I’d eaten but no. It stayed with me. Most of it is still here. I drank a large amount of mineral oil this morning and have already made two trips to the bathroom. I think I’ve lost 10lbs or so!
No more of that over eating crap, that’s really got to stop and just can’t be allowed to continue. It was soooo bad I couldn’t even put on my jeans this morning, I had to put on my stretchy pants. THAT’S BAD! Thankfully, after those bathroom breaks, I did manage to put on my favorite pair of jeans. Now I feel almost human.
Once I’m not truly crabby anymore I suppose I’ll start up the exercise thing again…well it’ll be easier once I can breath better. In the meantime; no more heavy snacking! This is just killin’ my tummy! It’s making me feel bad to boot.
Who’s idea was this again?