Day #4

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We are right around 84 hours without a cigarette. Believe it or not, in that time, we have saved $82.00.

$82.00! Geez, man. That’s a lot of dough.

I REALLY wanted a cigarette yesterday but I refrained largely because I have such wonderful FaceBook friends. Yesterday was the first time I made a status update with a craving, I figure the entire world doesn’t want nor need to my every moment-to-moment struggle here so I haven’t done that. I wanted to write yesterday so I REALLY wanted a cigarette! I posted and within moments had several responses with words of encouragement. I found that very touching and helpful.

I still want a cigarette.

I tried changing venue, I brought the laptop downstairs and sat in the living room with it. I played games, checked emails and site stats but it was a no-go on the writing. I guess I’ll keep at it, changing venue is an important start. When/if I can write here with the laptop and have it flow like water again…knock on wood!…then I can try to bring it back to the office and the desktop where I’m most comfortable. Blogging is a start, right? It must be because I really want a cig every time I blog as well. It’s creative. It’s writing. It’s getting Da Boyz up and running for the day and nicotine smoke usually accompanies that process. I miss it. I’m hoping this part of retraining my brain won’t take terribly long but I think we can safely say that “Rising Son” is now a Summer release. That sucks monkey balls but, the Big Guy keeps telling me it’s ok and he’s rather in favor of this stopping smoking thing. He figures if I stop then I’ll be on Planet Earth longer which means I’ll write more stories for him before I finally get to go home to Olympus and rest a good long while.

Sleep patterns might be returning to normal which would be really bonzer sign if it’s true. All I know is I did sleep fairly well last night even though Harry refused to get off my pillow. I’ve been doing my best not to treat this too light-hearted or seriously, I suppose. Usually I just jump in and go for it…long about the second day my willpower and resolve are busted and I’m looking for ways to sneak cigs. That’s not really possible this time since I’m unemployed and both of my girls do not appear to be working, so, someone will definitely rat my ass out if I get caught.

It’s been good not to have the crutches; patches, gums, pills, lozenges and such. From my POV it’s just trading one addiction for another and then having to kick the second less-evil addiction and the first one that you never really dealt with because you traded it for something else. I’ve tried the patches and they work, they really do. They’re great to take the edge off and keep you going forward. Once you’re done with the program you want a cig so bad you can taste it! BUT if you’re into vivid, visionary, prophetic, totally kickass DREAMS…get you some! Wear one all day and then sleep with it, let me know how you made out in the morning. Yeah, I know, NOW it says ‘take off while sleeping’ and ‘may cause vivid dreams’ but when they first came out that was nowhere to be found and I thought I was trippin’ all night long.

Well, I guess I was!

I’ve tried to treat it like kicking any other addiction and not just a ‘bad habit’. Sugar is important when kicking an addiction, very important. So is protein and carbs, but mostly sugar the first 24 to 48 hours. Sugars act fast to elevate blood sugar levels and mood as well as acting on the pleasure centers of your brain to lift mild depression associated with kicking an addiction. We have all of these high fat high sugar candies/cookies/cakes/goodies hanging around from Christmas. I’ve latched on to the Twizzlers and Candy Canes. Twizzlers are low in calories and fat and Candy Canes only have 60 calories–I smoked menthols so the peppermint is a nice touch now that I’m trying to kick this.

Sleep is also important. I take naps around 11 o’clock and 3 o’clock. Not big naps just 20-30 minute power naps. I can’t help it, my body just wants to shut down for a bit so I let it. I feel better when I wake. However, dinners have not been very good this week because I do not feel happy and creative. They’ve either been take out or some half-hearted attempt at food. Bummer.

Hubby and I have been much less irritable this time around, mostly because we both know what to expect I suppose. Cravings last 30 seconds to 2 minutes, I think that’s the most important bit of information you can get here because it translates into: This Too Shall Pass. So just hang on, ride the wave, baby, it’ll be over soon and when it crashes you want to be on top of it and not under it. Remember, the support of those around you is important so don’t snipe at them. It’s not their fault you’re bitchy and going through withdrawals, if you want to be pissy with someone look in a mirror and bitch away. Other than that, shut the fuck up and sing a little Jimmy Buffett in your head; “Some people say that there’s a woman to blame but I know…it’s my own damn fault.” Smile, bite the head off a Twizzler, and in two minutes you’ll be feeling very tired and less cranky with no permanent damage done to the egos and feelings of those around you.

Well, look at that, I got through this whole post without a cig….though I’d really love to have one, especially at this exact moment as I near ‘the end’ here. It’s 963 words here w/o a cig, perhaps I can get 963 words down for “Rising Son” in the same manner?


About lbdarling

Beware...the truth is spoken here. If you can't handle that...buh-bye.

Posted on 29/12/2011, in Life and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. I’m SOOO proud of you! I don’t want to put too much pressure on you guys…but you’re really helping me with my addiction. I smoked for a loooong time…then I quit cold turkey…because 3 people in my immediate family died of cancer…then I started again when my son got here 2 years ago. I should be ashamed of myself for smoking, you know, being genetically predisposed and all…

    But really!! $82 FREAKIN DOLLARS!?!?!?!? The money in and of itself is reason to quit!!

    • I’m proud of you too! Hang in there and we’ll lean on each other! My mom died of lung cancer, I promised her and myself ages ago that I’d stop and I tried several times but always started up again down the road. Yeah, $82.00, how do you like that??? Most of it goes to the state in taxes so…screw them, they’re not getting any more of my money! 🙂

  2. you guys are rockin. do it for yourselves not for one another.
    i did it, i want cig still at times thats when i have a green smokie treat

  3. You are doing fantastic Lisa Beth. Every minute you don’t smoke is a huge victory & you are doing it without the typical crutches, so YEAH!!!!! Keep telling us all about it, we’ll keep reading & offering you some long distance support (((hugs)))

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