Ares vs. Eddie; An Ode to Karen
In the Battle Royale….who do you suppose wins?
I’ve been in such a deep dark funk since diving into “Obsession” with the hope of making “Child of War-Rising Son” a much ‘lighter’ piece, btw. Dealing with ‘Eddie’ is no fun. I hate him. I have no idea why The Muse/Gods/Cosmos chose him for me. He’s so….icky. I’ve been shrouded in this veil of ickiness for weeks, lately it’s only gotten worse.
It’s not just icky. It’s THICK and it’s OILY. It’s hard to breathe. Even harder just to to THINK. I’ve felt like I was in a deep dark daze that I would never come out of. Seriously, THAT combined with me being peri-menopausal, most days lately, I can’t remember my NAME. No joke. I’ll wander around the house during the day knowing I was wanting to do/find something but unable to remember what it is. That’s Eddie fuckin’ with my head and, unfortunately, we’re not done just yet but we’re getting there.
I posted the chapter earlier. By the lack of hits I can see this is NOT going to be a popular book. At least, not right off the bat though some secret part of me is hoping it will be my ‘sleeper hit’. Those of you who read here often already know WHY I posted the chapter; it signifies ‘the end’…at least to me. Whenever I’m having troubles with something like that when that little voice inside of me finally says “post” I do it. I do it to make it real. Make it concrete. To understand there’s no turning back. Oh, we will edit. We will add and correct and rearrange but on the whole it’s OVER.
YES, that REALLY IS my version of the “PG-13” chapter. Man, you should have seen it before! You will…some day you will…but not under my name. Maybe you can imagine what the “R” rated version looks like. Here’s a hint; it includes another woman, a lacky/junkie/abductee of Eddie’s.
Earlier today, before finishing with ‘Eddie’, my hubby sent me a text telling me I could put the second coat on the next cabinet if I wanted to. We had a small tiff as he left today, he told me that then but I told him I couldn’t do it to his ‘exacting standards’. I walked away from Eddie for a while knowing what was coming and (pretty much) how we were going to do it. I scrubbed. I washed. I tack clothed. Finally I laid on what turned out to be an ok coat of varnish. It’s not great BUT the damn cabinet is so OLD it will need a THIRD coat. So my little handywork isn’t the ‘show coat’. It will be scrubbed, washed, tack clothed, and gone over yet again. I finished my work, in between rounds of laundry. I sent hubby pictures hoping it would at least past muster. He sent back texts saying I’d done a ‘great job’ and it ‘looked good’. That made me happy.
I came back to the computer. Wrote what I posted. Left the computer. Did more laundry. Looked for my cigs. Becca looked for my new pack of cigs. I SWORE I put the behind my grandpa’s baby picture. Even now I could SWEAR to you that’s exactly what I did with them this morning. But….no. She searched my office. I searched my office. I gave up and was ready to buy a new pack of these Marlboro ‘Black’ Menthols. Then she said; “Did you take them upstairs?”
Awwww….shit! The second it came out of her mouth I knew that’s what I’d done. I took the phone up to recharge the stupid thing AND put the new pack of cigs in the nightstand.
I gave her 3.
I went outside and had one.
I dusted. Sat down. Had another cig (outside) and basically didn’t know what to do with myself and this horrible horrible headache. I couldn’t shake the daze or the icky black oily feeling hanging around me. AND I’d quit an hour before usual. No TV. ‘Brenda’ doesn’t come on until 3pm here. I had nothing to do but sit and mope and let the headache pound away.
Then I did myself a favor and popped Karen’s DVD into the machine. Yep, “Old Ares Had a Farm”
The SECOND he came on the screen….
No more black icky feeling. No shroud. No cloud. No darkness.
Eddie’s gone, at least for the rest of the day.
Thanks Karen! I REALLY NEEDED that!