The Best Laid Plans


I wasn’t sure what to title this post. I could have called it ‘The Road to Hell is Paved With Good Intentions’ but then people might think it’s about “Rising Son”. Also thought about ‘No Good Deed Goes Unpunished’.

What the hell is she babbling about?

Yeah. Ok.

We did a good bit of writing today. We got a really nice up for our Trial and entrance into the Underworld. We had just sent Raven off on his challenge when we thought a break might be in order. It’s a beautiful day, sun is shining, nice light breeze. I figured I’d go outside and cut the grass. That should take about an hour, give or take, and it would provide plenty of opportunity for free wandering thought. It was around 12:30. I figured I’d be done around 2:00 that would leave another hour to write if inspiration demanded.

Mower needed gas, I knew that before I started. I hopped up to the gas station at the top of the street and filled up the gas can. I came home knowing I would probably have to put it on the charger to get it to kick over and I did. I must have wandered around a good 5-10 minutes trying to figure which outlet might be working and looking for the extension cord. Hubby cleaned up the garage for spring and I can’t find anything.

Managed to get it together, find the big extension cord and take a risk and a stab at plugging it in. It worked! Yeah! I put the mower on the charger. Came in. Played a few games. Went back out. No start. Came in. Played a few games, more this time, checked email, stats, all that happy stuff. Went back out. No start.

Damn it.

Back to games.

No start. Time is ticking by and ticking me off.

Put it on the charger, get Becca. Make her standby to unplug the charger and alligator clips.

Crank motor.

Start! Yeah! Becca performs her duty without a hitch, I take off on the mower. I get to the front yard….just around the house, ya know, and the friggin’ wheel fell off!

Goddamn it!

Yep, I look down and there it is wobbling on the rim. Gingerly ride it around it to the garage and stare at it. I refrained from kicking it. I’m still determined to get the grass cut, especially now that I’ve wasted so much time on the project already. Stomp into the garage, drag out floor jack.

Mind you I’ve never used one of these things. I’ve SEEN it done by hubby, mechanics, and on TV but never tried it myself. I figured; what the hell? Shoved it under the mower in what looked like a good sturdy spot and started pumping.

Nothing.

Pump more.

Nothing.

On TV sometimes they turn the handle.

Turn the handle. Pump. I think it moved. Pump some more. I still think it moved. Sure enough it was going up but I wasn’t sure how far to do it and, not wanting to crack the axle or something didn’t crank it up too much…at first. I just plopped my old ass down in the driveway and tried to wrestle the tire back on the rim.

Becca came out and told me that would never work because I didn’t know what I was doing.🙂

Then she told me I hadn’t jacked it up enough.

Jack it up some more. Jack it up until the front tires are no longer touching the driveway. Plop back down. Wrestle with tire. Get it on rim.

Now we need air.

Stumble into the garage, plug in the air compressor, drag out the hose. Put nozzle to nub. Keep fucking with tire. Keeping trying to fill it with air.

Worked. A little. At first. But then….nah. Even Becca tried it but we just don’t seem to know The Secret here.

Begrudgingly admit I cannot do this. Turn handle on jack. Let mower down gently. Hey, I didn’t want anything getting busted just cause I didn’t know what I was doing. I did leave the jack in place so hubby can use it when he gets home.🙂

Haul out push mower. Fill with gas.

My legs are old but I figured, since I’d invested so much time anyway, I’d at least get the front yard cut and maybe around the edges of the yard.

Yank. Pull. Yank. Pull.

“BECCA! Pull this damn thing!”

Becca yanked, she pulled, she yanked, and she pulled some more and we couldn’t get the thing to so much as fart.

Put everything away. Becca told me I’d just have to be happy writing sex for the rest of the afternoon! LOL

I came in. I sat down feeling very deflated and angry only to glance at the clock on my computer and hear;

Well, you wanted to be done by 2, didn’t you?

1:58 read my clock.

Funny, dude, real funny.

About lbdarling

Beware...the truth is spoken here. If you can't handle that...buh-bye.

Posted on 24/04/2012, in The Writer's Life. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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