Small Changes

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my, ah, writing partner, over the years we’ve been together it’s; Don’t Be Afraid of Change.

In fact, he likes it best when people go out and effect change as Lesson #2 is; Nothing Grows in a Stagnant Environment.

Change can be frightening but most of all it can just be plain daunting. I think that’s why people tend not to like it so much…at first.

Several weeks ago I decided I was unhappy with my aging body and I didn’t feel very sexy. When I don’t feel sexy, I don’t feel sensuous and…well…I don’t write because I’m uninspired. I went through a period of having to buy new clothes and it thoroughly disgusted me. I tried on pants/slacks that were up to a size 12! I couldn’t believe I’d gotten THAT big! I know my tits got a little bigger (the only good part of this process!) but I thought I should still fit into a ‘large’ shirt. Nope.

Yeah, ok, so….It would have helped if I hadn’t been shopping in the “Juniors” department by mistake! I realized that little fun-fact days after my shopping adventure! hahaha

Up until that point I had been lightly fooling around with ‘working out’. I’d go upstairs 2-3 nights a week lift my little 5lbs hand weights as I watched TV. Most nights I found I talked myself out of it…for no apparent reason. I wanted nice arms, I was tired of the “armpit fat” that I think is gross and prevents me from going around in spaghetti-strap tops and tanks. But sitting there watching “Bones” drinking Coke and eating a Snickers Bar wasn’t helping that fact any. Yet, that nasty voice in my head kept telling me the stupid little 5lbs weights wouldn’t help either. It kept telling me that I was destined to be old and doughy.

Old I’ll accept. Doughy not so much. They tell me that the “average American Woman” is a size 14. I don’t want to be a size 14. I like size 4, I think it’s perfect for my 5’3 frame. Buying size 6 jeans last time around did not make me happy. (No, that wasn’t the last shopping trip, it was the one before. So you can imagine my utter shock when the 12s didn’t fit! Yeah, my stupidity too, go ahead, laugh.)

I struggled with this little war in my head for a few weeks. It was annoying. Especially since I have the Biggest Fitness Freak in the World for a writing partner! He kept telling me that I wouldn’t know if the little 5lbs weights did any good or not unless I stuck with it for at least a month.

And, by the way, remember T-2? Linda Hamilton, how much you loved her arms?

Yes, what about it?

Then I remembered Linda Hamilton saying in an interview she hadn’t lifted heavy weights to get the arms, she did a large number of reps with small hand weights to get them. I started thinking that, yes, I could do that. Maybe. Possibly. It didn’t help that my hubby gave me queer looks and my daughter laughed at me. Outright laughed, she walked in on me ‘working out’ one night and busted out with sheer laughter. Yeah, that was not exactly an ego boost!

Little by little I listened to The Big Guy and, I made it a point to go upstairs and exercise…naked. Every night. Or at least 5 nights a week for 20-30 minutes.

Yes, naked. I want to see if I’m actually getting any results and it’s just me and it’s freakin’ HOT, man. So I do it in the buff usually with “The Mentalist” staring back at me, I started picking them up and putting them down more and more. I tried to remember different ways to do that which would help different muscle groups. I harkened back to my school days and the dreaded Gym Class, tried to remember things I’d seen on TV and even on that Yoga DVD which sits around collecting dust. Little by little, I made up my own workout with The Big Guy’s help. I’m not the most graceful person on the planet so he gets a good chuckle now and then watching me but he’s also the Fitness Coach, always there with; One more, gimme one more. Or… You cheated, do it again. Or…. Hey! Look at her go! His favorite lately is; Oh my Gods! Look! Is that SWEAT???

I found the more I got my ass up there and just started moving, the better I felt. Within days…I was breathing better! I didn’t have the heavy feeling in my chest and that was lovely especially when you factor in that I haven’t quit smoking. It was almost as though I’d forgotten how to breathe properly and taking deep breaths, holding, slowly releasing was like relearning the process. I also found that the more I forced myself just to MOVE the more I wanted to move when I was done. The more energy I had and things I WANTED to do.

I’ve gone from sitting on the bed half-heartedly picking up the weights over my head or out to the sides, to standing up straight and lifting them high over my head then let them bring me slowly down to the floor. When I started that my legs ached awfully and I could barely get the weights past my knees but they’re almost touching the floor now. My back feels much better for it. I do lots of leg lefts in various positions hoping to get rid of the old ‘saddle bags’. I cannot STAND the feeling of my thighs rubbing together when I walk…it really really bothers me! I feel like a freaking whale with every step I take. I do push ups against the side of the bed–keeping my back flat and straight as a board, just as The Big Guy instructs. I do lots of stretches with the weights, and at least 150 lifts of the 5lbs weights per arm per night. Don’t forget the Thigh Master! I found I can also do 15 crunchies at a time without stressing my back so I do two or three sets of those. Last night I threw in ‘V’ sits.

I’m sure anyone else would think my little workout was silly but it does get my heart rate up and it does make my skin ‘glisten’. It also makes me want to keep going after I climb into bed and so I often do. Just sit there watching ‘Blondie’ lifting my weights or my legs, no big deal.

Nearly two weeks ago, we gave up soda. We just did it. Out of the blue. I hate water. Or so I thought. Now we keep pitchers of water in the fridge with slices of lemon or orange and drink that instead of Coke or Sprite. I’m told we can eliminate many several hundreds of thousands of calories a year by making that small change. Problem with it is…we have to pee all the time now! I must get up three times a night to pee! Sorta annoying. Soda doesn’t seem to ‘run through’ nearly as fast.🙂

I have no idea of what I weigh…and I don’t want one. Yes, I have a bathroom scale. It’s about 50 years old so I don’t know how reliable it is, I only know that getting on the scale has always been a terrible experience. Even when I weighed all of 90 lbs throughout high school.

(Perhaps I have a touch of Body Dismorphic Disorder….but no more than your average female…I don’t think.)

Exercising naked in front of the mirror…not really looking into it mind you, but catching a glimpse here and there and then forcing myself to take a good look once a week, I thought I started seeing a slight change. But…maybe it’s just me.

Yesterday, I yanked my jeans from the closet. I only wear them on the weekends now. I pulled them up. I zipped them. Buttoned them…and had room! LOL! They weren’t tight around my middle or plastered to me like a second skin. In fact they’re incredibly comfortable now and I may never take them off.🙂

Last evening, as I was pouring a fresh glass of ice water with lemon, Rebecca said to me; “You’re losing your ass.”

I said; “Really? Oh that’s great!”

They seemed to think that I just got an ass and so losing it isn’t all that great but I disagree. Simply put; “I don’t like big butts and I cannot lie.” LOL

If this keeps up, come next summer, I may actually put on a bathing suit!

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About lbdarling

Beware...the truth is spoken here. If you can't handle that...buh-bye.

Posted on 15/07/2012, in Life. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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