On the Seventh Day


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Of our little tongue-in-cheek count down here, we got hit with a big one, didn’t we?

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It was so eerily similar to just one other day in my life; 9/11.

I was at work yesterday, I love to cruise the Yahoo! News when I have the time. A picture came up and told me there had been a shooting at an elementary school here in Connecticut. That alone should cause me to stop and think but, even in CT it wouldn’t be the first time some 2nd grader brought Daddy’s gun to school for Show ‘n’ Tell….or another purpose.

I had this dark cloud of gloomy sadness settle over me. I couldn’t explain it and I couldn’t get rid of it. For whatever reason, I just wanted to curl up in a little ball and cry. I told myself it was ‘hormones’. Work got busy. I worked doing secretarial stuff and getting the Hall ready for the Christmas Party. I decorated a little tree I found in the back room. I checked back when I could but didn’t get much updates. I think I saw ‘One Person Dead’. I wondered if I should tell my boss what was happening or not. A short while later Bob came out and turned on the TV. The whole world stopped. Everyone in my little office and those who were there to pay dues just stopped and were glued to the TV. We couldn’t get our heads around it. Like 9/11 it just seemed so incredibly unreal. Impossible. Unspeakable. Certainly Unthinkable. We just kept staring from each other to FOX News (of all things!).

Thankfully the Hall was already prepared for the evening’s festivities or I don’t think anyone would have had the heart to do it. I stood there and cried. No, I didn’t blubber. But I wept for those sweet little kids and their parents for whom life and certainly Christmas will never be the same. All I could think of was all of those gifts, some already wrapped and sitting under a tree others still waiting for their trimmings, of the joy their parents expected to feel when their children’s faces lit up on Christmas Morning. How that was all shattered. I’m getting teary just sitting here thinking about it.

It’s sort of one thing when this happens in NYC (even though it’s so very close) or LA or Florida or Texas or New Jersey–yes, a thousand apologies to all friends in those states and areas!–but this is freakin’ CONNECTICUT. We’re like, The Forgotten State. No one pays any attention to us as we crazily screw up our little corner of the world. It wasn’t even in Hartford or Bridgeport or New Haven…hell it wasn’t even here in good Ol’ New London! It was in Newtown? A place I had to look up on a map. Just your average Connecticut town. Just another dot on the New England landscape. Yeah, its cliche, but if it can happen there it really can happen anywhere, even Your Town USA.

I came home, hugged Becca tight, hugged my hubby tight, had another little cry, had a good stiff shot and a bit of a smoke while watching my local news give me the unspeakable news before heading out to the Christmas Party. Not much in a partying mood but it was a big event and everyone was looking forward to it. It was a very nice party. Food! OMG! So much food! Everyone was talking about ‘the news’.

It seems horrible to say, but we all mumbled it yesterday and were shocked by our own words. They went something like; “It’s one thing when someone goes in and shoots up their workplace or a bunch of high school kids because they felt picked on. It’s one thing when someone goes into a college campus and blows people away. What the fuck is it when someone walks into an ELEMENTARY SCHOOL and KILLS KINDERGARTENERS? What the hell did a kindergartener ever do to anyone?”

How does walk into a room full of shiny happy 5 year-olds getting ready for the holiday and just blow them away? It’s beyond fucked up.

If the Mayans aren’t right and the world isn’t actually coming to an end…what the hell is it coming to?

After a while we all dropped it because it was just too difficult to hold up any longer. Drinking and festivities ensued, as it should have, and Life already began getting on with itself for those of us unaffected by this tragedy. The boys held a 50/50 raffle–I’d never heard of this before– and donated half the proceeds to the families of Sandy Hook. The other half went to the raffle winner. I take it they do something like this every year.

We had a nice evening and then came home. We had coffee, we watched the local News some more until hubby couldn’t take it any longer and turned the channel. I went up for a bath and finished listening to the news while I soaked in the tub. There was a one-hour special on ABC NEWS. I know a lot of people say that the media does/shouldn’t glorify situations like this but, just like 9/11, I couldn’t get enough. It’s not that I’m morose or anything I just wanted to KNOW. I wanted someone to make sense of the whole thing and give me a reason for the violent deaths of so many little babies.

I don’t think we’ll get one.

Some people use horrific events like this to further their political cause, not me. I’m no fan of the Second Amendment and I think it’s greatly misinterpreted. I also know that, in cases like this, nothing would have stopped him. Also a fact is, in situations like this, the gunman usually takes himself out. Yeah, once in a while they go down in a hail of bullets fired by cops or an ordinary citizen but not usually.

Instead of doing anything like saying ‘yea’ or ‘nay’ to the NRA why don’t we just say a prayer for the families? I think our energies are better directed that way.

Today is officially Day 6 on our little count down. I’m wondering what the day will bring. I know that if something absolutely catastrophic should happen on or to Planet Earth on December 21, 2012, I will not be surprised. I don’t think you will be either.

About lbdarling

Beware...the truth is spoken here. If you can't handle that...buh-bye.

Posted on 15/12/2012, in Life and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Fred the Wolf

    hugs and love sis, i cried many times yesterday, my heart broke hundreds of times. while i accept the pain and shit Roy and I grew up with, that our cousins the Fernandess’ dealt and grew with, but I just kept saying.. not the babies, it should never be the babies. I feel kinda fucked up as I thought to myself, I can kind of accept shooting at high schools, college campus, the mall etc *it is not alright just so yer readers know but in this one case* it should never ever be the babies. It struck me hard, I have no children of my own, and more then likely never will, my heart was torn and twisted. It struck too close to a possible here and the ones I love here, My Lisa is a teacher, she teaches pre-k to 5th grade, the problem kids, violent, mr, impulse control issues, raped, sexually abused, some have witnessed the death of siblings, and part of my fear is the parents of this kids are gang bangers, methheads, crackheads, psychos and other being the result of chemical cocktails. And she is in a portable class room not even in the main building. I was so glad when she came home.

    i am shaken to my core. so glad she is retiring after 33 years of teaching

  1. Pingback: Pushing Your Buttons « Lisa Beth Darling

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