I can’t get rid of this cloud of gloom or evict the sorrow from my heart. I walked around all weekend in a hazy daze of confusion and sadness.
Hubby and I tried to watch the Memorial Service last night, I wanted to hear my President speak. Just like a lot of other people, I imagine, I wanted him to console me and tell me everything was going to be all right. But, I couldn’t sit through it. I guess we got about half-way through the numerous prayers and religious speakers before we shut it off. There were a lot of reasons for that and not one of them was that the speakers reduced us to tears and we couldn’t take it any longer. (I’ll refrain from being snarky today, we’ll do it another time.)
I watched President Obama on YouTube this morning and listened to the entire speech.
No, I don’t feel any better.
Although I know it’s there…somewhere…I don’t see any light at the end of this dark tunnel.
News reports come in and go out just as fast. No one has any real answers yet. It’s all just a bunch of speculation…still. You’d think, with all of the Internet in the world at their feet, the News Media would be able to get a few things right. Or at least agree to some degree. But…no. Not really. One news outlet says the shooter’s mother was ‘a wonderful woman who always put Adam first, she was always there for him, he was her top priority.’ Another one tells me she was ‘a very particular person, overly-strict some mighty say, and she always had a strained relationship with Adam.’
I’m not interested in glorifying the dead, I’d just like the straight poop whatever it is. Don’t sugarcoat it for me just lay it out there. I’m not ‘blaming’ the mother, I wouldn’t do that unless someone could prove to me that she was an abusive parent. Even then, while I’d lay a little blame at her feet, she wouldn’t get all of it. BUT… Seeing as how you must be 21 to own a gun in the Great State of Connecticut she would get the Nut Job Mother of the Year Award from me. The guns he used were hers. He didn’t even have to steal them or get them on elusive ‘Black Market’. Nope. Just went in shot her WITH HER OWN GUN and then made his way to the elementary school. From most reports she seemed proud that Adam ‘had a hobby’ and was ‘spending so much time at the gun range’. Wonder if she changed her mind on that one when she was looking down the barrel.
Yeah. Ok. Let’s leave the topic before I say something really true and really unforgivable.
Here’s something else that’s really true and really…praiseworthy!
Yep, those nukin’ futz Jesus Hatin’ Pod People from the Westboro Baptist Church threatened to come here and disrupt the Memorial Service. I think we should give each one of them a telephone call and let ’em know exactly how we fell about that. Many many many thanks to Anonymous for their efforts in this arena. I mean, c’mon, when Rush Limbaugh AND the KKK stand up to say; “You’re an asshole.” Maybe the rest of us would like to let that roll around in our reeling heads for a moment or two. I did something I never thought I’d do; I went to their freakin’ web site. I think we need to start a petition telling their webhost http://www.blacklotus.net/ we don’t appreciate their profiting from groups who spew hate. Especially not from groups who spew hate against INNOCENT people just to heighten their visibility, be attention-whores, and further their fucked up ’cause’. If you’re ON this server, for the love of all the Gods, get OFF it! There are better and cheaper hosts out there.
After the burials the battle will begin again. Time to revisit the Gun Control Issue. If anything ‘good’ comes out of this at all maybe it will finally be the bitter end to the American Love Affair with Firearms. I don’t care if you hunt. Go. Hunt. Have…fun? Most people seem to hunt with shotguns and rifles, not semi or fully automatic weapons. Those things are designed for one purpose and one purpose only; killing humans. They’re damn effective at it. My hubby loved that show ‘Sons of Guns’. I’d sit there with my stomach churning while he wondered at the marvels of this gun shop. I’d look at him and say; “Do you ever wonder about the person who ordered that gun? Do you ever wonder what they need it for? What they’re going to do with it?” It ain’t hunting. Nobody needs a flamethrower…attached to a military vehicle…that shoots a wall of flame 250 yards. If it was for a movie or something I might say ‘ok’ but it was for a private owner, one I never want to meet or even cross path with. Ever. But, oh yeah, it’s a freakin’ ‘modern marvel’ all right. It surely is.
Adam Lanza is the second mass murderer–this year–that I’ve heard described as being a ‘genius’ from many sources. (James Holmes was the first, btw.)
But you know it’s true, Genius is so very close to Madness.
During the coming battle you and I will hear a shit-ton about ‘mentally ill people’ and that it’s all the fault of ‘the mentally ill’ or…personally I can’t wait for this one!.. It’s ‘all the fault of the healthcare system’. Can’t ya see that one coming? (Two-faced sons of bitches!) But ya know, ‘mentally ill people’ have the dreaded pre-existing condition and it’s never gonna go away. So, a lot of folks who don’t want to ‘pay for’ things such as sick citizens with pre-existing conditions might want to STOP and THINK before they open their mouths in the days/weeks/months to come. They might like to use that quiet time to ponder on the idea that, in their unwillingness to ‘pay for’ things they CLOSED the majority of State Hospitals countrywide. You know, those places where the ‘mentally ill’ used to go and get help. They got treatment. Therapy. Meds. A warm bed and a hot meal. But they weren’t ‘worth’ ‘paying for’ anymore so they fell through the cracks due to budget cuts. Well, to be honest, it was that and a bunch of unscrupulous doctors who brought forth ‘repressed memories’ that were total bullshit. That didn’t help any either. Now sits closed and empty places like Danvers State Hospital and the Norwich State Hospital. No, they probably weren’t ‘the best’ places in the world but most times having ‘something’ is a hell of a lot better than having ‘nothing’ to fall back on. Better than being put on a bus with $50.00 and just dropped off in the middle of downtown Norwich and/or New London, as happened with the Norwich State Hospital. Can you imagine it? One day you’re safe in your little room, getting therapy, and meds, being sheltered and fed (because you can’t do it for yourself) you’re away from the general population that’s going to eat you alive to begin with, and the next it’s; “Sorry, Charlie, you’re on your own.”
I mean you have taken the time to ask yourself just why all those homeless people seem so crazy…haven’t you? Some studies suggest that upwards of 65% of the homeless population are actually displaced mentally ill individuals who have been left to their own devices here the Land of Opportunity.
In the end, friends and neighbors, we’re all going to ‘pay’ for this in some manner. Maybe things like AK-47s–and similar weaponry– will be taken away from the general population. Maybe the general population will be forced to cough up for the less fortunate, for the mentally ill, and to actually take care of our own. Not with pretty words and platitudes but to really put our money where our big mouths are.
Until then, my heart is heavy and I fear it will be a long time before it is light again.