Offensive Defense


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There are some things in this world that just don’t need defending. Things like God. Pick a God, I don’t care, any God, I’m betting that They do not need you (or anyone) to defend Them. I’ll bet if They have a problem with us mere Mortals They are perfectly capable of standing up Themselves and letting us know. All on Their own. They don’t need us to form an army for Them or something dumb like that. They may even be a little insulted when we do build an Army for God, They wonder if we think They can’t take care of Themselves.

Think about it.

Another thing that doesn’t defending is the grand old institution of marriage. It wasn’t designed as a piece of Victorian Erotica, it really wasn’t. It had nothing to do with roses or courting or fluttering hearts. It had to do with money, property, and a lot of ‘keeping it in the family’ via 1st and 2nd cousins. Or consolidating two…umm…tribes/families/kingdoms in the interest of furthering financial gain. If offspring resulted then that was great and those children–now presumably all of the husband’s seed– helped to cement the mainly financial relationship that was legally formed by a marriage ceremony. Or not. In many many places around the world before churches got involved, all a couple had to do was…move in together. And..ooo..look at that! You were ‘married’ just because you said you were! No ceremony required..at all. Since ‘marriage’ pre-dates recorded history and the Christian Churches do NOT…it’s been around a long long long time before Jesus H. Christ ever walked the Earth and has little to nothing to actually do with ‘the church’. The ‘church’ got involved to ‘sanctify’ marriage and, in turn, make a few bucks off the process because it was missing out on cashing in on that. It invented ‘living in sin’ to get more bucks in the coffers and, of course, to make people feel guilty, which is the one thing ‘the church’ is really good at. Let’s not forget that, upon such ceremony, the woman basically becomes chattel and the property of her ‘man’.

You don’t have to believe me, the Almighty Google will be glad to assist you as you search the history of marriage.

Since we’ve…um…evolved….and since American’s don’t seem to have any grasp of any facts dating before the Civil War when Jesus H. Christ came down from on High to stamp ‘In God We Trust’ on our money. (cough…choke) Due to our Gnat-like attention spans and understanding of the world we live in, as a society, we think of marriage as “Moon, Spoon, and June” and forgot the history. We also tend not to look at the more than 50% divorce rate. We tend not to look at the number of times someone has been married. We tend not to look at how many times someone has cheated on their spouse. OR their marriage lasted from 55 hours to 72 days. Little things like that just get tossed aside.

Another thing the religious zealots would love for us NOT to look at it the fact that somewhere around 58% of American Citizens believe gay people should have the right to get married. Last I looked 58% was a majority. And, last I looked, the majority rules in the USofA.

Just as true as all of the above is the fact that gay people have always been among us. Always. They’re not some new ‘mutant strain’ of human being or something like that. They’re people, just like you and me. So, I don’t understand the big hairy deal over ‘allowing’ gay people to get married. I don’t understand why the Supreme Court would balk at bestowing rights and privileges long-held dear and enjoyed unfettered by one group to another group.

Land of the Free
Home of the Brave
Liberty and Justice for All

And all of that happy-stuff considered. This should be a no-brainer.

Then semantics get involved because people are small-minded picky creatures who have forgotten they are not the only ones who should have ‘rights’. Those people…some of them…want gay people to have ‘civil unions’ instead of ‘marriages’ because, well, calling a Merry-Go-Round a Carousel makes so much more sense…or something like that. Makes them feel better and by that I mean ‘superior’, which of course, they are not.

My husband and I were married here in CT in 1986 in a Civil Ceremony (no priest/church/blah blah blah) and our marriage is recognized by and in all 50 states. No matter where we go in the USofA we are a ‘married’ couple. So…again…what’s the big deal? Don’t you want your marriage to be recognized wherever you go? But if you’re gay it isn’t. That’s not ‘equal under the law’. If you’re gay and ‘married’ you may face stiff financial hardships when your spouse dies such as over-the-top inheritance taxes and one wouldn’t even consider paying if one were in a ‘straight’ marriage. That’s not ‘equal’ either.

If you’re ‘offended’ by gay people getting ‘married’ perhaps you should look in a mirror and ask yourself; Why? Why am I so threatened by this? Why do I even care if two consenting adults want to spend their rest of their lives together? What does it have to do with me? And why do I think I have the ‘right’ to tell everyone else how to live their lives?

You could get some interesting answers if you don’t start with something mundane and banal such as; “God says…”

Because, no, God didn’t say. No matter what book you’re cleaving God didn’t say anything at all! MAN did. Keep that in the back of your mind too.

If gay people have the inherent right to walk the Earth (they do!) and they’re expected to work (they do!) and pay taxes (they do!) and be good law abiding citizens (most of them are!) then why is anyone trying to deny them their right to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness?

What’s YOUR deal, man? What is YOUR major malfunction? BTW, how many times have YOU been married? How long did it last? Did you have any children? If not, why not? If marriage…like sex (cough choke) is ‘for purposes of procreation’ then no one over the age of 50 should ever be allowed to get married to anyone at any time. Yes, men CAN create children past that age but medical science tells us that those offspring have the chance of being…well….abnormal. Not that there’s anything wrong with abnormal but those kiddies may not have the high function levels of those spawn when a man is, say, 30.

NO WOMAN past menopause, widowed or otherwise, should ever even be given the chance at happiness for the 30 years she’s got left on the planet…should she? After all, she ain’t making no babies.

NO WOMAN who is NOT a VIRGIN should ever be considered eligible for ‘marriage’…the Bible says so.

Doesn’t it?

You bet it does.

While the following has had comedic elements added to it, you are free to do your own legwork! Actually LOOK UP ALL your book has to say on the subject.

Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5; Matthew 25:1)
Marriage shall not impede a man’s right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron11:21)
A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deut 22:13-21)
Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden. (Gen 24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30)
Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution of any state, nor any state or federal law, shall be construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)
If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother’s widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen. 38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)
In lieu of marriage, if there are no acceptable men in your town, it is required that you get your dad drunk and have sex with him (even if he had previously offered you up as a sex toy to men young and old), tag-teaming with any sisters you may have. Of course, this rule applies only if you are female. (Gen 19:31-36)

Unless YOU live up to ALL of THAT….you ain’t ‘married’ in the eyes of “God”.

Think about it. Do YOU want to share your ‘man’ with concubines and/or more wives?

I don’t!

I was not a virgin…far from it…when I got ‘married’…neither was my husband but that doesn’t seem to count.

I’m not interested in screwing my father or my brother in-law (sorry, Freddie)

So, as always people, put up or shut up and pick up the pace!

About lbdarling

Beware...the truth is spoken here. If you can't handle that...buh-bye.

Posted on 27/03/2013, in Life and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

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