Isn’t It Romantic
Yep, today’s the day! My 27th Wedding Anniversary!
What am I doing today?
I had today off for Good Friday but got up on time with hubby and then decided to push my way through the mountain of paperwork before that loafer Uncle Sam gets on my ass…there are only 17 days left to file. That SOB wants ‘his’ money! GET A JOB, Sammy!
I started doing the taxes about a month ago and, after several hours of wading through a stack of papers and struggling to figure it all out…I gave up. I literally said: “Fuck it! I quit!” My head was spinning, my eyes were swimming, and I felt sick to my stomach over it. Between hubby cashing in an old IRA and my book ‘income’ it was all too much for this old gal to take. I couldn’t tell if we were getting $600.00 back from that cheap bastard or if we OWED that cheap bastard $600.00.
But, I spent about an hour and a half on TaxAct.com today plodding through it. I counted every single penny that we took in income and for the very first time ever….went for every single deduction I could find! I know, I should do that every time but they make it so fucking hard!! Hubby got a 1099-Misc for a few gigs at the USCGA…I was sooo pissed! Yeah, all branches of Uncle Sam’s ‘family’ are cheap-ass motherfuckers. SO…I claimed business expenses for him. That’s right. He uses that old Explorer to haul his equipment around for gigs so…I claimed it and the mileage and the deprecation. I claimed a small portion of the electric bill for my book business, advertising expenses, and what I paid for a book cover I never used. I claimed a home office too. I sit right here and write, edit, promote, advertise blah blah blah. So…why the hell not? I claimed the mortgage interest and property taxes. Usually I don’t even think about taking deductions like that, it makes me feel a bit greasy, like I’m not carrying my weight. BUT if Exxon can get away with it so can I. They certainly make, and therefore should OWE, way more than me!
I finished, I hit ‘submit’ and…was REJECTED! TWICE! What the fuck???? It took twenty minutes before I received a text message from TaxAct finally telling me why. Yeah, ok, so Rebecca’s last name isn’t ‘A’! LOL…I thought it said ‘middle initial’. So I fixed that and sent it off again.
$1,900.00…baby! Yep, between the Cheap Bastard Uncle Sam who would only let go of $615.00 and the (not so) Great State of Connecticut let go its choke hold on $1,278… so that’s a Grand Total of $1,893.00! SCORE! Go Me!
People have been telling me for years that I do it this way, that it’s coming to me, and I am not ‘cheating’ the government by availing ourselves to every single possible deduction. (We don’t get credits anymore…total bummer.) I’m glad I finally listened and we didn’t end up owing those sonsofbitches a thin dime. We shouldn’t owe them anything anyway. All combined we pulled in $55,036.00 last year (that’s with ‘royalties’, Unemployment Compensation, and the cashed in IRA). That’s frickin’ chump-change! Especially when you consider that ‘experts’ keep telling me the ‘average’ American family earns $100,00/year! I’d love that, that’d be awesome!
As far as I’m concerned, any ‘family’ making less than $65,000/year shouldn’t even have to consider paying federal taxes, they should get every dime back that they lent Uncle Sam through the year. No more. No less. No bullshit paperwork either. I can’t stand the warped thinking behind the ‘we charge you from dollar 1′ theory. Huh? How about you start charging after I reach an income level that’s actually liveable? That makes me more sense to me instead of charging from dollar 1. Idiots.
But I fucked them this year! So…doin’ the Happy Dance!
Now I have to go finish washing the bed clothes for a little Anniversary celebration later today. Gonna go get some steaks for grilling too. Still waiting for my paycheck to show up! I was kinda pissed when it didn’t arrive yesterday. I mean, as you can see from the above, we live paycheck-to-paycheck like 70% of the rest of the country.
Looking forward to a pleasant and romantic evening with my hubby and then 2 days of writing!🙂 I think it’s gonna be a good weekend!