No More Banquet Fried Chicken

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In case you can’t tell from the title of this blog…this is gonna be a GROSS post! So click out now.🙂

Is today Wednesday? I keep asking that cuz I slept through Tuesday…I mean pretty much right through Tuesday. I never do that. If when I have a horrible cold I drag my ass out of bed even if it’s just to sit on the couch. I find the longer I stay in bed when I’m sick then less human I begin to feel.

After work Monday, I went grocery shopping. I came home. I blogged. I put a box of Banquet Fried Chicken in the oven with the a frozen Marie Callendar’s mac & cheese. I don’t know about you but that used to be my favorite quick/comfort food. Not anymore. Nope.

We ate. We watched TV. We went upstairs. Used The Ring. Went to sleep and about two hours later I woke with the worst stomach. It was just churning and I thought ‘well, might as well get it over with instead of suffering’. So I pushed the blankets off, went to sit up and…that was she wrote! I stumbled to the bathroom simply covered in it! Ralphed for what seemed like forever, as I’m covered it in; my face, my hair, my eyes, up my nose, in my sinuses. It was DISGUSTING. I finished. I washed off. I stumbled back to bed. I got up and did it again.

All….Night…Long. I mean ALL night. ALL freakin’ night!

About two hours after I started hubby started too. That brought me a slight bit of comfort because I figured I’m not dying. It FELT like I was dyin’. But…no. Good Old Fashioned Food Poisoning. I have never felt that bad in my entire life. Giving birth was easier than the last 36-48 hours. So not kidding. Nope, nope, I’m not. I spent so much time on my knees over the toilet, the sink, a garbage bucket, that my stomach was rock hard. My tummy is pretty squishy under normal circumstances. Just having the blanket on it was enough to make me want to cry. As I’m laying there with my head spinning, body aching and totally drenched in sweat.

Have I mentioned it was disgusting, yet?

This is the REALLY GROSS part…somewhere along the line all of my insides turned to liquid and I was unaware. Yeah. I did. The floor. The bed. Totally just EWWWWWWW.

In some small the Gods were with us, through it all we didn’t have to puke at the same time once…LOL. So, we didn’t get in each other’s way on that one. That was, well, I guess it was nice.😉

Somewhere around 6 o’clock last night Becca wandered into the bedroom and immediately said; “OH my God, you’ve got food poisoning!” She brought us a bottle of ginger ale and cleaned up some of the mess. We laid there groaning, panting, and sweating (not in a good way!). We sipped off the ginger ale and about 7 or so stumbled into a shower to rid of ourselves of the smelly crusties. We stumbled downstairs hoping the living room and a little TV would make us feel better but it didn’t. We passed out on the couches. Eventually stumbled back upstairs.

It was weird, my whole body HURT. Head to toe but none more than my back. I could hardly get up, I could barely sit up, all I could manage was to lay there and the pain in my back made me cry. I couldn’t get comfortable for anything. Changed rooms last night, we went to sleep in Becca’s bed. Her mattress was better but I didn’t sleep at all. My brain wouldn’t shut off I kept thinking about RuPaul. Don’t ask me why! All I know is he wouldn’t get out of my head! He just kept talking and talking and talking. Weird.

Here’s how bad it was; I went to the hospital today. That’s right. Me. I went to the hospital on my own in fact it was my idea. You know I’m dying if I’m agreeing to see a doctor. I got to lay in the ER for 4 hours while they pumped me with IV fluid. Well, that was after the first attempt wherein I broke the stupid little needle/thing. The nice nurse just could not get it in my arm because my veins shrunk so much from dehydration. Got two nice bruises. She ended up putting it in my hand. Got a nice welt. The doctor came in, hubby was with me, we told her how sick we’d both been and what we thought it was. She said food poisoning didn’t happen that quickly, usually, and what did we have for breakfast? I said; “Breakfast? I only eat dinner.” She thought that was strange. She also thought it was strange that I’m 46 and don’t have a family doctor as she said; “But you have had a physical in the last 5 years haven’t you?”



I told her that I pretty much hadn’t been to see a doctor since Becca was born. Geez, I think actual physical exam I had was in high school! (So not kidding on that one!) I thought she was gonna faint as she looked at my chart and said; “You have insurance, right?” Yes, nice doctor-lady I have insurance I simply hate everyone in your profession. To me you’re all harbingers of death. No, it’s not rational but it is what it is.

Hubby sat with me for a while then he decided he would go home and take care of the mess. What a guy! I love him! When I got home I was told it was on; the floors, the curtains, the covers, ALL over the toilet, the bathroom floor, the bathtub and well, just everywhere. Between the two of us we covered the second floor. ICK.

I still haven’t been brave enough to eat anything other than 1/2 an ice pop. Maybe in a few more hours I’ll try some scrambled eggs or soup. It’s too bad too because everyone keeps telling me what a gorgeous day it was yesterday! Pretty nice today too not that I’m goin’ out there for anything. I am going to try to sit up as much as possible and hope my back works out a little. I’d like to sleep tonight with some level of comfort. Until then I see a lot of ice chips in my future.🙂

About lbdarling

Beware...the truth is spoken here. If you can't handle that...buh-bye.

Posted on 10/04/2013, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Hope you’re feeling much better today, glad he was able to do most of the clean up..that’s the worst lol… my hubby is on his puke you clean.. lol of course when the kids go it’s momma duty grrr

  2. poor things both of you😦 hope you feel somewhat human soon!

  3. Lisa and I love you. and am sorry but the part of the gorman family line makes me go muhahahahbwhahaha that is some funny pardon the word SHIT LOL Love you both and hope you get better quick. sounds like you got hit by one of the new super flues.

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