Burnin’ Down the House


I got home from work (I really need to do a private blog there!) and I picked the mail out of the box. Turned it over and read; Important Insurance Information Enclosed.

I thought; Gee, really? Is there any such thing as Important Insurance Information?

My answer was; Nah, not really.

Let’s face it, for most of us, insurance is the biggest rip off there is. We pay 10, 20, maybe even 30x more into that system than we ever get out of it. Great for the company and its shareholders. Lousy for the rest of us. There isn’t even a competitive market! We’re just stuck with whatever we’re given by our employers, the government, or what we can afford if we have to buy it on the outside. As for us, health insurance is our second biggest monthly expense coming after the mortgage. That also don’t seem right to be me but…what the hell do I know?๐Ÿ˜›

So I opened it up to read my new homeowner’s policy which was picked out and is paid for by the mortgage company. I admit I never read this thing before, I just shove it in a cabinet unopened where it collects dust for the next 7 years until it’s dirty enough to throw out. Unopened. Yes, it never gets opened. Ever. Today I decided I should be brave or at least feign interest so I opened it. I have a horrible habit of just ‘turning to the last page’ on most things and skipping the page or 100 pages that come before it. I turned it over and read; THIS PAGE HAS BEEN INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK

I thought; Duh, no it hasn’t. If it has been left blank it wouldn’t read; THIS PAGE HAS BEEN INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK. Would it? Of course not. Just putting the type on there means the page isn’t blank at all. It clearly says *something*.

Morons. It’s right up there with; Enter your PIN Number, please.

Yeah, ok. I shall enter my Personal Identification Number…Number, for you.

Then I opened it to the middle and found ‘the good stuff’. A lot of it’s wrong. Just plain wrong. I don’t know where they got certain bits of information but it wasn’t from me. Nope. Wasn’t from anyone who LIVES here either. I have no idea how long I’ve been enjoying these rather whacky ‘discounts’.

Oh well. Whatever.

Then my eyes fall upon the ‘important stuff’ and I think; Shit, maybe I should just burn it down!

Suddenly, I understand why people do crazy things like burning down buildings for insurance money. Oh yeah, it’s been the plot of many of my favorite TV shows and a few movies but I never really got it until just now.

If I should suddenly lose my house I get a check for well over $300,000.00

Well, slap my ass and call me happy! Really? DAMN!

For a lovely but all-too-brief moment my mind drifted away to that rustic cabin on a lake settled in a field far off a rutted road. I smelled the ‘fresh dairy-air’…ok it’s a little stinky๐Ÿ˜‰ But that’s all right. I even saw the layout of the log cabin; open. It will have a massive fieldstone hearth in the middle, a living room and dining in front and a big kitchen in the rear, hopefully also with a hearth that works for cooking…oh I’d love to try that! Since my cabin has an open floor plan for both floor that means there’s only 1 bedroom. Just the 1 and it’s BIG and it has a HUGE bathroom that looks out at the lake. So that means no room for guests. Sorry.

Oh, BTW, does that cabin sound a wee bit familiar to anyone?๐Ÿ™‚

We’ll get a few of those out buildings from Home Depot for more creative endeavors. I want the little one that looks like a barn for a Writing Room with a small pot-belly stove. Hubby can have one for his bike/garage/mechanic stuff and one for his music equipment. Maybe we’ll get those chickens and a cow and a horse. No pigs. No male pigs anyway–have you seen the peckers on those things??? HOLY CRAP!

No male pigs.

Maybe a sheep or two.

Sounds blissful. I like it. I really do.

Besides, that $300,000.00 probably won’t get me that huge honkin’ old Victorian in Maine. You know, the one on the cliff overlooking the ocean. The one with the massive wrap-around porch and the big Widow’s Walk. The one that’s in need of a good dose of TLC and should probably be used as a Bed & Breakfast rather than a home for two aging married people. LOL Yeah, it might not buy me that. But I could get that cabin.

Of course, I’ll never burn down my house in order to get it but…it’s a sweet little daydream just the same.

I sighed and tucked the policy away in the cabinet.

About lbdarling

Beware...the truth is spoken here. If you can't handle that...buh-bye.

Posted on 04/06/2013, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. gET OUTTA MY CABIN DAMN IT LOL HE HE –I’d soooo love to live in a log cabin, or a small lil ole cottage… etc far way from the hustle n bustle…. no peepers tho, I’ve lost my CPR certificate long ago lolzz.. lookn forward to seeing ya next Tuesday… should be a great dinner

  2. You can’t have Collinswood Estate

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