In the Middle Part Deux

My shopping spree ended yesterday. Late in the afternoon I took a ride up to Burlington Coat Factory for undies. Before I left hubby reminded me that I work and I deserve clothes and we have money so if I should see something NEW that I like I should buy it. Whatever it is. He didn’t care. Although he voted for shoes🙂

I stopped at The Cake Lady first and bought 1 dozen cupcakes figuring I would not want to buy them on my way out of the shopping center since I was probably going to try on clothes again. hehehe Hey, man, there’s nothing like a soft sweet yummy cupcake to make you feel better or at least less miserable.

I love Burlington almost as much as Sally’s Alley. The prices aren’t as good, of course, but the stuff is new and usually a little funky. Since I was alone, I took my time wandering around, poking around, and just basically getting lost in Shopping Mode, which is something I almost never do outside of Stop & Shop. Feeling unhurried I put several items in my cart all with very nice low prices on them. I even got a pair of shoes for $15.00. My heeled pseudo-construction boots are nearly shot and it’s not weather for them. I do have a pair of wedge sandals that I finally managed to match up after much rummaging through the shoe bin. I have a pair of black heels but I can’t wear them at work. The hall is big and mostly empty, the echoes of my footfalls are so loud they drive me nuts! So I don’t wear those to work.

I head over to the Lingerie Department for the underwear I originally came in for and immediately spy the Bargain Bin. Oh, lovely lacy undies for $0.99! Who could resist? Besides, the last time I bought undies they were all cotton and while comfortable not very sexy. And most of them have disappeared. Strange, huh? I spent a good deal of time picking through them and checking the sizes. Once upon a Time I was a ‘small’. I held up a pair and thought; Are these made for a doll? They would were soooo small I couldn’t see who would ever fit in them other than someone six or under. I held up a pair of ‘medium’ and thought they should probably be labeled ‘small’. I held up a pair of ‘large’ and thought they’d fit me. You’re not allowed to try these on first! I thumbed for a pair of ‘XL’ and thought; no fucking way! I’m not buying them! I am NOT an EXTRA LARGE.

Who comes up with these sizes?

I put on some weight, yes I did, but I don’t think I qualify as Two Ton Tessie just yet. To me, that’s an ‘XL’. In my head. I don’t know about yours. But if we’re sticking to those 4 sizes then I expect the six year-olds are left to the Girls Department and pretty lacy undies will be properly sized to women.

Of course as I pick out my panties and rant and rave inside my head The Big Guy is right there giving advice on which panties he likes along with how the world will not change for me. He thought it was hilarious that I wouldn’t even consider buying the ‘XL’ even though he insisted they would be more comfortable. That it ‘wasn’t the size that mattered’ it was ‘the way it fit‘.

He thinks he’s just the funniest thing since Richard Pryor, he does.

I picked 5 pair of sexy lacy panties and 3 pair of sexy cotton panties for the days I want to be more comfy. All ‘large’ and yes, he was right.

I hate him for it. hahaha

I headed to the fitting room which was overflowing. The women working there were all chattering about how many women there were today and how much they were buying all of a sudden. They hadn’t seen anything like it in a while. I guess the Stars have Realigned or something and now there’s a Cosmic Shift of Money back to people who need it. There were so many women we were all allowed to take back as many items as we wanted at a time just to hurry things along!

Trying on clothes is no fun. I don’t care what men think. I know most of them believe we’re just having the time of our lives back there trying on all of the pretty clothes we’ve labored to pick out. But we’re not. We’re naked under horrible fluorescent lighting praying what we’ve labored over picking out FITS and then that it LOOKS GOOD. If someone would simply force ladies clothing manufacturers/designers to measure everything alike this process would go much quicker, I promise.

I took off my clothes behind the flimsy curtain in front of the mirror under the unflattering lighting and thought I looked like the Pillsbury Dough Boy. I thought; I really need to do something about that.

The Big Guy Laughed at me. Right out loud. Yeah he knows better. I live the most sedentary lifestyle of anyone he’s ever known. If I’m not sitting at a computer, I’m sitting in front of the TV or behind the wheel of the truck. I start exercise routines with the best of intentions and I do them for a while and I start to feel a little better and, not seeing the type of ‘immediate results’ I would like, promptly let it slide by the wayside. So, ya know, honestly, until it comes in a pill I’ll probably never have my 35 year-old body back.

Oh bother.

But, well, the new Blu-Ray player does offer an online Yoga Channel…weird, huh?….maybe I’ll check it out one night.

Hey, it could happen.😉

Anyway, One pair of slacks, size 6, wouldn’t go past my thigh. The pair of Lee jeans, size 8 (sonofabitch!) fit very nicely and for $13.00 went back into the cart. I also managed two cotton tops that are very ‘hippie’ and Pooh-Bahish. Both purple. I went heavy and on the purple and pink with this shopping spree, unusual. Even the undies were 3 pink pair and 1 pink bra. One white one too. Strange thing; I tried on a 34B and the cup was too big bug the circumference too small. I tried on a 36C and it was a nice fit. Not false advertisers either😉

I managed to find a very flowy summer sweater for the office and the evenings. It will allow me to wear the tank tops I bought to work by covering my fat old arms. Oh yeah, those are no fun. I look at them and wonder when I got the arms of a trucker. Strange. They’re not horribly flabby…yet. But they’re a lot bigger then they once were and I find I don’t want anyone looking at them. Five years ago I wouldn’t have even thought about that. Wouldn’t have been an issue.

Not digging this Getting Older Thing. But, as my mother always said; Clothes Hide a Multitude of Sins.

On my way out I walked past the Maxi-Dresses again. I hadn’t picked up a single new summer dress. I looked and poked and looked and poked finally pulled something unusual for me off the rack and just put it in the cart. I made sure it was ‘large’ with a built in bra! It’s also a halter top so that new sweater will come in handy and I have a few very pretty lacy wraps that will go wonderfully with it to dress it up. I tend to stick with one color. I like solids. I hope it looks as nice as I think it will.

Anyway…..for all of my efforts and the grand total of $165.00 I bought ALL of this….


5 pairs of pants, 8 pairs of undies, 2 bras, 1 pair of shoes, 3 tank tops, 3 regular tops, 4 blouses, 1 dress, 1 light sweater.

Again I say; try doing that at Wal-Mart🙂

While I wouldn’t categorize the experience as ‘fun’ at least I didn’t break the bank and I won’t have to do it again for another year or two…with any luck that is.

I wonder if that Sensa shit works.

About lbdarling

Beware...the truth is spoken here. If you can't handle that...buh-bye.

Posted on 09/06/2013, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. jeannie platt

    OMG loved your post… I am always buying for hubby and the boys so i never buy for me… I normally always have the youngest with me and he does not make shopping easy lol so it is the grab and go shopping trying on is never happening until i get home… You did a great job can’t believe all the goodies you got. There is a little store by my house which gets all their shoes and clothes from QVC and The home shopping channel thing is they are all their shoes are 15 bucks… Takes me a while to find what i am looking for but nothing feels better than having a 100+ dollar of boots brandnew in box for 15 love it lol. that shop was a life saver last week when my high heel broke right before hubby and i went for our weekend away.

  1. Pingback: The Lazy Writer’s Guide to Losing Weight | Lisa Beth Darling

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