Donations Needed: Warm Winter Coats to Send to Hell–Please Help


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The poor wretched souls down in ‘Hell’ are up to their balls in snow today. They’re not used to that kind of weather at all. They’re freezing. We must help. So, if you have a gently used winter coat, gloves, scarf, muff, or hat that you’d like to donate to the cause please feel free to pack them up and ship them to any of the following:

The Salvation Army–be sure to tack on a note that it’s from a very ‘happy’ person
The Boy Scouts of America
Your nearest Church
Rick Santorum
Steven King—NO! No MY Stephen King…the other one. That asshole politician.
Mitt Romney
“Children of the Corn” star Paul Ryan
Gov. Rick “The Dick” Perry
Sarah Palin
Michelle Bachman
John “No” Bohner
Or just to anyone else you know currently wearing a “Red Badge of Discourage” at the moment.

Those folks will make sure the cold folks down in ‘Hell’ receive your kind and generous donation.

If you’re still here and starting to get a little hot under the collar, let the following serve as your last warning. This is America (well, I’m in America you could actually be anywhere) so feel free to depart these lands now post haste. Nothing will be said. No hard feelings. Cya tomorrow.

wendy

Holy Crapola! That’s how I KNOW without shadow of a doubt there is a blizzard in ‘Hell’ today….I have acknowledge TEXAS in a GOOD way. (Love you my Texas relatives/readers/friends, you know I do.) Hats off to Wendy! I hope she gets a very long foot massage and back rub. Personally, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stay awake that long never mind on my feet and talking. I heard she couldn’t stop talking, go pee, get a drink of water, or even sit down. Damn! That’s what I call commitment to your cause. Whatever your cause is you should be so damn dedicated to it. We all should.

marktwain

It’s not often I get to say this so, chalk up another mark for ‘Why They’re Throwing Snowballs In ‘Hell’ Today’…..I’m proud of my government. Or at least one part of it. The NSA is still on my Shit List and always will be. I admit it, I sat at my desk at work at 10am (no one was in the office, btw) with my eyes glued to the Supreme Court’s blog. Wait. Their…what? Yeah, I had no idea they had a blog until yesterday when I was waiting for the decisions that came down today. No clue. There’s ‘Live Chats’ too. Wow. Weird.

The lady on the official end of the interactive blog started posting the decision and then in big bold letters a scrolling marquee came up; 5-4 DOMA is STRUCK DOWN.

No way. I had to read it several times along with the blow-by-blow (no pun intended) that was being given on the blog. So we didn’t get too excited, the lady politely reminded us that this decision does NOT make same-sex marriage LEGAL across the country it just means Uncle Sam has to stop being a prick. Ok, she didn’t say it that way but you get the point, right?

Honestly, right after screwing that less than Presidential Pleasure Material Monica Lewinsky, signing DOMA was the dumbest thing Billy-Boy ever did. For those of you upset with how I characterized ‘that woman…Ms. Lewinsky’…take a good look at Marilyn Monroe, huh? Think Kennedys while you’re looking at her.

Anyway, the excitement died down and they announced some other no-brainer ruling like they did yesterday. I posted what she had to say on my FB page and was less than thrilled by the attention this landmark decision was making in Ye Olde FB Feed. My author friends, most of them, were more concerned with shucking their books at that moment. That was disappointing.

I waited and waited and waited for the decision on Prop 8. I kept waiting PAST her announcement because it didn’t make any damn sense AT ALL. I had to go to Yahoo! And get the Live Feed from ABC News so George Stephanopolous could tell me what the hell was going on with it. UGH! Ok…so….

“By a 5-4 vote, the justices held in Hollingsworth v. Perry that the traditional marriage activists who put Proposition 8 on California ballots in 2008 did not have the constitutional authority, or standing, to defend the law in federal courts after the state refused to appeal its loss at trial. The judgement of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit was vacated and the case remanded with instructions to dismiss the appeal for lack of jurisdiction. While California will likely begin issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples, the decision will not have an impact beyond the state’s borders, and other same-sex marriage bans across the country will be left intact.” (So sayeth the Huffington Post)

That means same-sex marriage CAN be legal again in California. I imagine it will be for a while. Then those “Red Badge of Discouragers” will try another end run.

Ya know, to tell you the truth, I couldn’t believe the state would vote against it anyway. That’s sorta like Provincetown, MA standing up and saying; “Nah, no gays here.” Only on a much bigger scale. If you’ve never been to Provincetown you must go one day. It’s quite the experience and I love it. It’s awesome. Other than the joyous atmosphere they happen to have THEE BEST salt water taffy on the face of the planet! To die for!

The decision of Californians on Prop 8 really did make me wonder if I’d stepped into an Alternate Reality or, more likely, if maybe the question was worded in a fucked up manner where ‘no’ meant ‘yes’ and ‘yes’ meant ‘no’. They love to do that. They do it all the time here in CT or they did. They seem to have some type of ‘Plain Language’ law when questions are presented on ballots now. It’s kinda nice.🙂

At the end of the day, needless to say, these two decisions make for one Happy Pooh-Bah. Yep, they do. Now there is a bigger chance that my gay friends and relatives and your gay friends and relatives might be recognized as having full-fledged rights/privileges/trials/tribulations and all the rest of the happy-crappy straight people get to deal with. To those nice folks I have to say; Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it. There’s a chance you could regret getting legally married–about 51% actually. But…Welcome to the Club. Much luck to you. I wish you all the best.

Of course, I had to go over and read the comments on the ‘news’ articles a few hours later. Thankfully, most people seemed delighted with both decisions but there were the RBoDs out there with quips like;

Soon it’ll be legal to marry your dog.

My response; Sure, fine by me. WTF do I care? So long as the human AND the dog are over the age 18….go for it.

BTW, ‘dog years’ don’t count. The dog must actually BE 18 years of age.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” We already KNOW what the CREATR thinks! HE thinks gays are disgusting! America will burn in HELL!

My response; You are aware that GOD didn’t write a single word of the Bible, right? That book was written by MEN 2000+ years ago, translated a few a dozen times, and then edited for hundreds of years by other MEN. There’s a reason YOUR Bible is probably stamped ‘King James Edition’…did you ever think why that is?

We all know that person didn’t stop to think at all but I thought I’d try to help them anyway. You know it pisses me the hell off when people try to use The Declaration of Independence to back up their religious beliefs. I don’t think any of those people ever even looked up our Founding Fathers to see what their affiliations were.

Now look, I’m not ‘down on religion’. Those who read here…religiously…already know that. But I do believe the following notion which was brought to my attention by my wonderful hubby some months ago. It goes like this; There’s nothing wrong with religion. There’s nothing wrong with having one. There’s nothing wrong with being proud of your. Just don’t whip it out in public and try to shove it down my throat.

Perfection.

I am an AMERICAN first and a Pagan second and I would never ever ever try to tell anyone they HAD to live THEIR life by MY religious beliefs. We ARE NOT a CHRISTIAN NATION and we NEVER WERE. That’s a fallacy created and perpetuated by people who are control freaks at heart. Freedom of Religion is one of our most precious rights. It means that you believe what you believe and I believe what I believe we don’t get to bash each other over the head because of it. Or burn each other at the stake. Or hang each other. Or drown each other. Or put stones on each others’ chests until they’re crushed to death. Or thrown anyone into the lions’ den.

Got it?

If YOU believe homosexuality is wrong and that gays shouldn’t get married and that abortion is wrong then I support you. I think you’re an idiot but I’ll defend to the death your RIGHT to believe those things. I will NOT support your right to make other people live by your religious rules. Do we all have to abstain from eating meat on Friday? What about the Sabbath? Do we have to stay home, no work, no driving? How about the Amish? Do we all have to go back to the horse and buggy? What about pork? Can we still eat BACON!

I am SO not giving up bacon. Oh hell no! I…ME…I’LL get a GUN before I give up bacon, ok?

The simple point that our Founding Fathers were trying to instill in future generations is this; Teach your religious tenants in your homes and your houses of worship. Adhere to them. Adore them. Love them. For crying out loud trying LIVING BY THEM once in a while. Do it to your heart’s content. But don’t shove it off on anyone else.

Certainly do not deny the same rights and privileges that YOU enjoy every single day of your life without question or hesitation to your fellow citizens. THAT, friends and neighbors, is truly UN-American.

About lbdarling

Beware...the truth is spoken here. If you can't handle that...buh-bye.

Posted on 26/06/2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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