Only in New London–Part Deux
I get home from work and I find a nasty note from the Shitty City of New London ‘affixed’ to my front door.
They’re upset with the couches on MY lawn and want me to remove the ‘debris’ within 24 hours or they will be ‘take appropriate corrective and legal action’.
Come get it. Hey! I know. Let’s call Rocco….I’m sure he’ll steal it for us! LOL
The note orders me to ‘Maintain area clean and sanitary’.
Ahhhh…..hummmm……I wonder when was the last time they took a trip to the Crystal Avenue High Rise. Not much clean or sanitary down there, just go inside and breathe deep the gathering urine/feces stench. It’s a joy.
Just for this I think I won’t bother having the Junk Man come on Friday after all. I mean, hell, by then I’ll be in complete violation of an asinine rule so…who cares?
The best part is, this wonderful person sucking off my tax dollars, couldn’t seem to pick a ‘violation’. They seem to think my sidewalks and driveway are ‘blocked’. Hummm….the junk is sitting on my property not on the shitty sidewalk AND there’s no driveway there. I know that because when I call to have a car towed the Shitty City of New London tells me that’s not a ‘legal driveway’. It isn’t. It’s just an easy access point to the house.
I love the ‘sanitary’ part and wonder if they know what the word means. Just because there are some old couches sitting out there doesn’t mean it’s ‘unsanitary’.
1. Of or relating to health or the protection of health.
2. Free from elements, such as filth or pathogens, that endanger health; hygienic:
No filth. No pathogens. Nothing that would endanger anyone’s health by any means.
They must have a New London edumacation and graduated some time after me because I’m pretty sure ‘sanitary’ was a vocabulary word at some point in my academic career.
BTW, if the Shitty City of New London in a f’d up attempt to ‘save money’ didn’t get rid of Junk Week and force everyone to hire a Junk Man or take their stuff to the dump themselves…there wouldn’t be a problem at all.
So, in short, I am paying some needle-dick to drive around town issuing phony ‘violations’ to people. That’s about as good as when we paid people to go around town looking for numbers on buildings—THAT dumbass TRIED to give me a citation, he was even writing it up, when I pointed upwards and his eyes followed my finger and…OH MY! Surprise! LOOK…house numbers! How the hell did that happen? Must have been magick, huh?
Not to mention the time New London hired some real winners out of New York to go through back taxes owed on cars. I got a BILL for my MOTHER’S car, I did. She’d been DEAD 15 years. The dumbass bitch thought she’d get away with not charging me by saying she’d ‘do me a favor and just ignore it’. Favor? Really? The estate was CLOSED 15 YEARS…good fuckin’ luck, sweetie! She was lucky I even bothered to call her to straighten it out. I wasn’t under any legal obligation whatsoever to pay that or even acknowledge it.
Oh and if that wasn’t bad enough, the same dumbasses, went around TOWN looking for ‘unregistered’ or ‘abandoned’ cars and gave citations and back tax bills to everyone who had one. Well, sort of. You didn’t have to OWN the vehicle it just had to be near YOUR house or, Gods forbid, on your property. But it did NOT have to BE YOURS.
Why doesn’t the City concentrate on something…anything…that’s important?
Oh yeah…it’s too much WORK. It’s much easier to drive around town all day making up bullshit for yourself to do.
Like I said, chances of my getting the Junk Man here are Slim and None. Let the City pick it up. Let them bill me. I won’t pay it. Let them sue me. I won’t show up.
They’re WASTING my tax money anyway….I might as well get in on the fun.
When they come back to pick it up I’ll hand them a scrub brush so they get the adhesive off my door!