Lonely & Rambling

I miss my hubby.

He is working overtime; yesterday, today, tomorrow, and all day Saturday.


I am lonely. That doesn’t work for me. When I’m lonely I get funky. When I get funky I get depressed. When I get depressed I don’t get a damn thing done as is evidenced by the fact that I sat on the couch for 7 hours straight yesterday, in one position, I don’t think I even blinked or noticed what was happening on the multiple episodes of “Bones” and “Castle” that passed before my eyes.

I know. I should use this time to write. But, since getting this job last year, it seems writing has been relegated to weekends and weekends alone. I used to write every week day from 2pm to 4:30pm with quick stops in between for laundry, cleaning, and dinner. This job….I still like it…I like it even more now that Hicksville has finally gotten off my ass AND since giving up their website. I do miss it. To tell the truth, I haven’t popped their site since they kicked me out of my former position. I can’t trust it, that’s why I haven’t been back AND I don’t want to see how they’ve fucked up my baby. I’ll pass on that one. After all, that work and the website wasn’t ‘worth anything’ anyway, that’s what I was told anyway. So….oh well. Most days at work are great, I get along with my boss and we have a good time while we’re working away trying to make things a wee bit better. Still, I hear so many sob-stories in any given day the last thing I want to do is come home and write. It’s depressing. All the way around. For them. For me. Sucks. Of course it is getting better as the economy makes it slow turn in a better direction. More guys/gals are working and more should get out there within a month or two. That’s good.

I’m trying to focus on the good, can you tell?

Still, it’s just not conducive to writing. Other than a meathead or two there aren’t any good ‘characters’ to shape and work with. I refuse to give the meatheads the satisfaction of getting killed off in one of my stories! Why? Cuz that would mean I’d have to shape characters out of them and work with them for a while first. Not interested. Pfffffft.

They’re not the only meatheads. AT&T is FULL of meatheads. I’ve been trying to find a new phone for a while now and I can’t do it. Mine is DYING and rather quickly. My contract has been up for months. I should get an awesome deal. I did get this here Galaxy S1 for a penny! A PENNY! And no it wasn’t ‘used’ it was brandy dandy new. Do you think I can get an S3 for a penny?


How about an S2?


I can get a fuckin’ iPhone 4 which I’d rather slit my own writs than hold to my ear. I don’t want a phone that has a high probability of having been made by someone who jumped off the factory roof to their death a short time after finishing its manufacture. No thanks. I’ll pass. Even if it was FREE I’d pass.

Even the Windows phones are $30.00.

I’m not that cheap. I don’t mind paying for the Windows phone or the few other $30.00…all ‘used’!….phones I can get as I reup my contract for the….3rd?….time. I think, since I’m a 30 year customer of AT&T, I might have just one little perk coming to me.

You do!

Oh yeah….no upgrade fee. Woop-woop. There’s no Earthly reason to charge the $36.00 ‘upgrade fee’ to begin with….none…other than greed.

So, I did try to buy a phone. I did. I selected a nice LG or was it an HTC…I dunno…. for $30.00. When I got to ‘check out’….guess what was on the bill. Yep, $36.00 ‘upgrade fee’.




Hate those guys so very very much.

I did not ‘check out’. I ‘x’d’ out instead. I’ll hold onto this thing until it totally croaks. As opposed to temporarily croaking which is what it does now on an intermittent basis. What fun! When it does die I may get a throw n go instead. Yeah, I’d break down and pay the $200.00 for the phone IF I’m getting unlimited talk/text/web for $40.00/month flat. Can’t get that with AT&T. At least *I* can’t since I’m not a ‘new’ customer. I *could be* a ‘new’ customer if I turn off this line for a month or so and then go back to them. But I don’t think that’s right. In fact, I think that’s a downright shitty way for any company to treat its loyal long-term customers/clients. But that’s ‘business as usual’.

Oh bother.

Yep, your best bet for the best deals is to periodically drop your phone company and your insurance company and your cable/satellite company in favor of becoming a ‘new’ customer somewhere else. That’s true. I dropped GEICO after nearly 10 years with them because the rates were NUTS. No tickets. No accidents. 20+ year vehicles and they started socking me up the wazoo for no reason. Buh-bye GEICO. Hello Progressive. Rate dropped DRAMATICALLY. So much so that I am now paying with Progressive what I was paying with GEICO 5 years ago. How do ya like dem apples? Meanwhile GEICO keeps emailing and junk-mailing me wanting me to come back.

When/if Progressive gets outta hand…I’ll switch back to GEICO for the ‘new’ customer deal.

You got a good cellphone provider? You like it? If so, drop me a line. I’m willing to try any company at this point.

Oh well, whatever.

As I sat on the couch last night bored out of my mind with the Big Guy SCREAMING at me to

Get up off your ass, woman, and turn on the goddamn computer!

I did have a good idear or two about the story. That was helpful.🙂

No, I never did turn on the computer. I think that’s why I suffered from a literal pain in the neck ALL NIGHT LONG as I struggled to fall asleep. LOL

With about 5 hours of loneliness ahead of me I suppose I *could* open the file. I mean, I got my cigs, my coffee, my SoCo Cherry, incense, candles, and even Old Toby. There really isn’t a single fucking thing standing in my way except…me. I can’t even blame it on Writer’s Block cuz I know exactly where we’re going and what we’re doing and how we’re doing it. I do. I just keep hoping it will write itself. hahahaha


Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know…I know. Geez.

I think a big part of my dilemma is….Facebook. Yep. I do. As summer winds down my personal page feed is freakin’ FULL of books! Ads for books. Pushes for books. Books. Books. Books. Motherfuckin…BAH-UH-CKS! Most of them going for $0.99. That pisses me off. It really honestly and truly does. So many authors are not just ‘buying into’ Kindle they’re kowtowing to it. It makes me sick to my stomach. Amazon came along, just like Wal-Mart, and pushed almost ALL of my local bookstores out of business! BIG names too. Now I got 1 Books-a-Million (if it’s still there, I dunno) and 2 local Independent Bookstores. WTF? It was bad enough when every grocery store under the sun got into the act with paperback and hardcovers but at least they were selling them at you-can-make-a-living prices. Do you know how many copies of a $0.99 book you have to sell to make it worth your while?

Think about it. Especially for true Indie Authors like me.

We spend a year writing the book.

We spend months editing the book.

We spend weeks making the book cover.

We spend countless hours/days/weeks/months/years/ourowndollars on promoting the book.

We create our own websites to market the book.

We nurture Social Networking Sites.

We spent days/weeks courting blogs to review our book.

We GIVEAWAY countless numbers of the book to reviewers and winners of blog hops/giveaways.

What do we get for it?


Are you outta your freakin’ MIND?

The thing that really kills me is that ALL those authors are LOWERING THE BAR FOR THE REST OF US. The more they push/sell their books for $0.99 the more the rest of us have to do the same to keep up.

I don’t know why they don’t think their work is WORTH MORE THAN NINETY NINE CENTS but I think mine is. Hell, I think YOURS is too…no matter what it is!

Between them and the sonsofbitches that pirate Indie Authors works and just toss it out there FREE cuz they’re too freakin’ CHEAP to pay NINETY NINE CENTS for it…btw, I wish them ALL a long slow painful death in the very near future….people like me can’t catch a break for love nor money.

Yes, I want people to READ my BOOKS. Yes, I want people to enjoy my books. But I don’t want to prostitute myself for it. Call me crazy, g’head, you won’t be the first by a long shot. LOL And, ya know, those ninety-nine centers out there LOVE to RETURN the book after they’ve read it. I can swear to that on whatever you want me to. When I STOPPED selling my work for the crappy ninety-nine cents guess what happened? Yep, ‘sales’ dropped off a bit BUT no one who bought a book over $2.99 RETURNED ONE. Know why? They’re not cheap sonsofbitches, that’s why. In the end, even though I’ve been charging between $1.99-$6.99 (The Shame of Eminent Domain) for my ebooks, I’m still getting Kindle/Amazon to send me about the same amount of money every month. I lost ‘sales’ but I gained good honest readers.

I wish those other authors would realize THEIR work is worth it and OURS is too. The more they try to help other people Save Money, Live Better the more they HURT the rest of us. The more they drag us down. The more they cheapen ALL of us. For what? Ninety-nine cents? You can’t even get a pack of GUM for that these days.

Capitalism at its worst, if you ask me.

I know, I know….no one asked me.

Still, there used to be a time when…oh let’s say….you had a Hardware Store on Main Street and someone else had a Hardware Store on Elm Street and you two competed. You tried to out price each other and offer better promotional items and whatnot. BUT it was what used to be known as a ‘friendly competition’. Your goal was to sell more on Main Street than the other guy did on Elm Street. It was NOT to put the guy on Elm Street out of business.

We called ‘free market’ and ‘capitalism’.

We also called it ‘having morals and scruples’.

We called it Common Sense.

Yeah, I know, we’ve lost of all those things. I know.

So, as I approach my Big Promo Splash I’m totally loathe to put any of the OF WAR Series ‘on sale’ for .99. To tell you the truth, I’d rather give it way then get that pitiful amount of money in exchange for my hard work especially knowing that at least 1/4 of the will be ‘returned’ to Kindle and Kindle won’t ask the buyer any questions at all. They’ll just refund MY money without even asking me or having any type of decent Return Policy in place.

I hate those guys so very very much.

About lbdarling

Beware...the truth is spoken here. If you can't handle that...buh-bye.

Posted on 08/08/2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Sis, LOVE YOU but in many ways you are a pucture of New England cheapskate.

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