Sittin’ on the Edge

Well, we do have some good news.


Yep, that’s my $1.05 phone. It showed up Saturday. I gotta tell ya it’s the best $1.05 I ever spent! Took a few hours to play around with it over the weekend and figure out the new system but I got it now and am most impressed with the Pantech Flex. It’s 4G instead of 3G and it actually is a bit faster. Unfortunately for Miss Nicole it seems I got the last one.🙂 She went to upgrade through AT&T’s site and was told it was ‘out of stock’.

Also was able to pick up “Iron Man 3” on Saturday. That was a surprise. New Releases always come out on Tuesday and have for years. This was slated for 9/24. I’m sure of that because I burned the info into my brain so I would not forget to go to fye tomorrow and get it. There it was. In Stop & Shop of all places. Hubby and I were shopping for ingredients to make


When we happened to see it sitting there at the front of the ‘media aisle’. Hubby said: “Is that?” And I looked to where his bewildered finger pointed, saw it, trotted over it to, picked up in amazement and promptly stuffed it into the cart upon realizing it wasn’t a joke.

We came home, I made the above Mac n Cheese from scratch for the very first time. It was ok. I left it in too long but that’s because I was still unfamiliar with the Timer Feature on my phone and didn’t back it up with the timer on the stove. Still, it was a Grade-A effort for a first attempt. Next time, cream instead of milk and a little more of it. We should be in Cheesy Heaven.

So there’s my Good News.

Oh yeah, and I got the grass cut on Sunday. Doesn’t look like a hayfield any longer. So I guess that’s good too.

Hard cover of “Women of War” finally showed up today. I can get that out to the winner who’s only been waiting three weeks.

And the paperbacks for the Grand Giveaway arrived some time ago. Swag is on its way. That will be all set and ready to go come November 4th when our little contest ends. So I guess those are good too.

Bad News; I’ve lost my MoJo.

No joke.

I haven’t written anything in weeks. Never mind anything of much substance or that makes sense. Yep. It’s Gone. I think it flew out the window when the last of my estrogen drained away. I’ve always been painfully aware that my writing was tied to my Cycle and now that I don’t have a Cycle anymore….well, it’s not good. No. Nope. It’s not. It’s so not good I toyed around with the insane idea of going on HRT just to see if the MoJo came back. Yeah, I won’t do it. I’d rather just quit at this point anyway.

My friend, FAB, was kind enough to take the novel off my hands by offering to take a look at the whole thing for me. I thought that would be good. 1-it would give me a fresh pair of eyes and a new perspective and 2-I wouldn’t have to feel guilty about not writing cuz there’s nothing I can do until it comes back.

I didn’t count on #3-I don’t care if it comes back.


She can just keep it. I’ll keep satifying myself with the idea that I can’t do anything with it until she sends it back.

(Did ya like how I just shift all of the blame and guilt on to my good friend? Yeah, that was really lousy of me now wasn’t it! Geez. What a bitch I am!)

I’ll sit here and watch movies and get fat(ter). I’ll tell myself I should get up and move around. Then I’ll have another beer and another episode of “Castle”. I’ve even gotten back into “General Hospital”. Oh that’s bad! I haven’t watched that show in nearly 15 years and I used to RUN home to watch it. Every day. I ran my ass off from the bus stop to the house, threw my books onto the table, and slid my ass in front of the TV just as it came on. I watched it later on when my girls were growing up. Then I got a job and…no more soaps. I missed them. Face it, my writing takes A LOT from Soap Operas. I admit. I’m not ashamed of it. Not really. Did you know ‘Todd Manning’ came to “General Hospital” and he was ‘Todd Manning’ for a while but then something happened and now he’s a ‘Quartermaine’? Weird. I LOVE to HATE me some ‘Todd Manning’ he was one of the best things that ever happened to “One Life to Live”. Awesome. Gave me chills. Loved him. Reow. ‘Luke Spencer’ was there and so was ‘Laura’ for a while. I even saw ‘Leslie Webber’ and ‘Scott Baldwin’! I saw ‘Luce Coe’, Richard Simmons, ‘Sean Donnelly’ and ‘Holly’ ‘Duke Lavery’ and ‘Anna DeVane’….where the fuck is ‘Robert Scorpio’ people? I met him. Did you know that? Oooo yeppers he was handsome dude. Yes he was.🙂

See…I love soaps.🙂

Watching them now is probably not a good thing. It’s really NOT a good thing since I can see that they are blatantly targeting me, my generation, trying to lure us back to the couch between 2pm and 3pm. And it’s working. That’s the sad pathetic part.

I can’t even get up enough….umph…to put one of Karen’s DVDs into the player. How f’d up is THAT?

Can’t even look at my rather extensive Ares Collection.

I’m about to take the wallpaper off my desk top.


Wanna know the REALLY f’d up thing?

I’m trying to CARE about it and failing miserably. I think I could just dump everything RIGHT NOW; the site, the FB, the Kindle/Amazon, Nook, Smashwords et al accounts and just walk away.


Quick Rundown: The Five of Cups is about loss. On this card, we see a figure draped in black and covered in grief. He so dominates the card that it is hard to look beyond him. The Five of Cups refers to that time when the pain of a loss is most acute. This man is looking only at the overturned cups in front of him. For now, he cannot acknowledge the two cups that are still standing. Later, when he has healed somewhat, he will be able to see all that remains.

In readings, the Five of Cups can alert you to the possibility of a loss and its associated emotions – sorrow, regret, denial. The loss could be great or small. It could be tangible (money, possession, relationship, work), or intangible (dream, opportunity, prospect, reputation). You may already know what this card represents, but, if not, use it as a warning to help you avoid a loss, or at least reduce its toll.

You may feel discouraged by this card, but it does have a positive side. Every loss opens new possibilities for growth because every loss initiates change. Loss hurts because it is our emotional resistance to change. No matter how much we accept intellectually that we must go with the flow, if that flow separates us from what we love, our feelings say, “No!”

I think there are Full Cups behind me, I just can’t see them. I’m tired of looking at the spilled ones before me and The Tower the always looms in the distance like Sauron’s Tower with it’s All Seeing Eye.

But, unlike ‘Frodo’, it never sees me. I no longer believe it ever will.

About lbdarling

Beware...the truth is spoken here. If you can't handle that...buh-bye.

Posted on 23/09/2013, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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