Stupid Old Hobbits…They Ruins It!


I love Halloween. It’s my favorite holiday of the year. It really is. I zipped around my house all yesterday afternoon getting out all of my Halloween Witches and my candles and my bubbling misty fountain. We were going to do the fog machine and laser machine but it was kinda of drizzly last night so we didn’t bother with them. Wednesday I went to the store and bought 3 big bags of candy that came to 150 pieces; Reese’s, Kit Kats, 100,000 bars, Oh! Henry’s, Goobers, Raisinets, and M&M’s, cost a small fortune but what the hell? It’s Halloween! It beats Christmas by a country mile in my old eyes. But, like Christmas and Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy some thing in the world are reserved for those 14 and under. Trick or Treating is one of them. Now, don’t get me wrong I don’t wanna be The Grinch that Stole Halloween or nuttin’ like that but it really grinds my stones when full-grown adults show up at my door with an open bag begging candy! It pisses me off!

OK, so you’re walking around with your kid. That’s your JOB. When you get home, for being a good parent and doing your job, you will get half your kids’ candy. I had more PARENTS begging candy last night then ever before. IF you’re a parent in a COSTUME I have no problem giving you candy in your own little bag but if you’re not in a costume just stay on the damn sidewalk, huh?

I had one woman come up to my door last night with not 1, not 2, but 3 open bags saying she had “3 sick kids at home”.

Yeah. Right. Each “sick kid” got one Tootsie Pop each. That’s it. She gave me a nasty look like I was some cheap bitch or something as she stared at my Cauldron of Candy.

Tough.

I had KIDS doing the same damn thing; they come to the door with two bags talking about a “sick” sibling. One Tootsie Pop for said “sick” sibling on the off-chance they actually exist.

I had one full grown man come to the door BY HIMSELF. No kid. No costume. He looked at me and said that his daughter had missed my house. I looked around. I didn’t see any daughter. Yep, one Tootsie Pop in the bag.

Around 8 o’clock, just after I refilled the cauldron a large group of older kids came to the door; no costumes just open bags. Rebecca sent them away telling them Halloween was for little kids and those IN COSTUME. I looked out the door and noticed that due to these jerks all of my neighbors had shut off their lights. We don’t usually turn them off until 9pm give or take. But we’re all sick of older kids coming to the door in gangs. Stupid Older Hobbits..they ruins it for everyone! Stupid Hobbit Parents don’t know enough to tell their stupid kids to STAY HOME. I know it’s hard. I didn’t want to give up Trick or Treating when I was young and my kids sure didn’t either but it’s necessary. My mother told me I was ‘too old’ when I entered my Freshman year of high school and I told my kids the same thing: It’s over, either find a party to go to, a young child to walk around, or stay home and pass out candy to little kids.

If you’re too old to believe that Santa leaves presents, the Easter Bunny leaves baskets, and the Tooth Fairy leaves money you are too damn old to Trick or Treat….especially without a costume. I don’t want to hear about being poor and not being able to ‘afford’ a costume. Everyone has crap lying around their house they can use to make a quick Halloween costume even if it’s just an old sheet thrown over your head. Hell, find a big box, wrap it in tin foil and be a robot! Get a Hefty Bag, attach old newspaper to it and be a garbage bag. I don’t care but DO SOMETHING. Anything. At my house, like most houses, the better costume you have on the more candy you get at each stop. Like we said; it doesn’t have to be expensive just creative. Put some thought into it people!

They were rude too! That made me mad. When I was little you walked up to the door, you rang the bell or knocked, you waited, when it opened you held up your bag, SAID “Trick or Treat” and then SAID “thank you” and maybe even SAID “Happy Halloween” to the person nice enough to give you candy. At least half the kids last night couldn’t be bothered to do any of those things. They just opened their bags and ran away with my candy.

They come in droves too. They’re all ‘imported’ from other places and run down the street in packs followed by their parents in cars. Again, when I was little, we didn’t ‘import’ or ‘export’. We Trick or Treated our own neighborhoods up to, maybe, a 5 block radius. I didn’t recognize one person last night. Not one.

It was a big disappointment especially after last year when we didn’t even get to have Halloween because of Hurricane Sandy.

Some of course were absolutely adorable like the 2 or 3-year-old who came to my door in a fuzzy bear costume. Oh he was sooo cute! Even as he tried to come inside he was adorable. He got 4 pieces of candy from me and his Mom got one too. We had princesses and witches, even Michael Jackson showed up last night.

But next year I will have to rethink my favorite holiday, bummer. I may have to actually put up a sign, a little witch cut-out or something reading: NO COSTUME. NO CANDY. I’ll make her four feet tall and add: If You’re Taller Than Me…You’re Too Old To Be Here…Stupid Hobbit!

About lbdarling

Beware...the truth is spoken here. If you can't handle that...buh-bye.

Posted on 01/11/2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. Girl I felt the same fucking way…. One lady came to my house 3x… one w/ costume, one without, and another w/her s/o WTF do you really think I’m that stupid.. your kid is in the same costume… same kid… and I think about 5 of them actually said Trick or Treat, I mean really WTF — I’m done… The only two adults I will give candy to if I EVER do again is the two developmentally challenged kids up the street…. and then they don’t take one piece –they grab a handful… and NOT EVEN A THANK YOU!!! I complimented one lady, her kids come to my house all the time… always refer to me as Mrs. Sullivan, totally respectful.. they were the best.. and I told her so..great job mom at least your kids say what they are supposed to say Trick or Treat, and AND they said have a nice Halloween Mrs. Sullivan… I said it loud n clear so all the other bitches would wake the fuck up… Sad…

  2. p.s. I meant all the other kids grab a handful… etc. lol

  3. Im so with you on that.. I think if you dress up for Halloween then ya, I sure some candy with you. Teens too! really, you know

  4. we never did halloween much over here, it’s more a commercialized thing the last few years. last year my kids went around but this year i said no. kinda had enough with the semi forced way it is thrusted upon us. i’d rather see the genuine houses decorated and here from those who celebrated for decades. it’s a shame to hear that the rudeness of kids and adults alike is falling lower and lower😦
    i’d hang up a card that say :
    yes my light is on BUT only for those UNDER 14 and IN costume. if you do not meet these requirement be sure to know you will get tricked!

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