Bemoaning the Loss of the Hairy Chest
While sitting up in bed last night I cruised around Ye Olde Internet on my tablet because, to tell you the truth, I’m not quite happy with the cover for “Kingdoms of War”. I mean I like it and all and I may end up going with it but I’d like to have a nice torso on the cover. We all know whose torso I’d like to use! Try as I do I can never get anyone to just answer me on that one. I’ve never received a ‘no’ and I’ve never received a ‘yes’. They just ignore me, which isn’t very nice if you ask me. Part of me wants to say; Awwww fuck it, go for it! The other part doesn’t want hassles right here at the end of the proverbial line. (Well, maybe the end…maybe not.)
So I went to the Almighty Google and typed in “male models”. I got oodles of handsome men to stare back at me from my screen. I did! But….none of them are right. Yes, I’m too picky on this one I know thank-you-very-much. So I tried “male models torso” and got back a ton of drool-worthy torsos. Certainly enough to make me smile.😉 BUT I noticed a strange thing; none of them have hair. I don’t mean they lack chest hair…they had NO hair. Not on the belly, the arms, the legs, or even in some cases the underarms. Not even a little tiny sexy happy trail. Nope. I thought; what the hell have we done to our men???? Then I wondered if they had other areas waxed as well. Ick. Not even I’m doin’ THAT. No way.
I typed in “hairy chest” and was greatly disappointed. Got a lot of hair chests mostly on fat bald guys and several pictures of men who looked like they were wearing fur coats but they were not. Ewwww. Look guys, if you’re lucky enough to have a hair chest be proud of it, take care of it…GROOM it a few times a year, huh? You don’t want to walk around looking like you’re permanently encased in a cashmere sweater, do you?
I felt very disheartened. I can’t have a representation of Ares without a hairy chest because that chest has been a huge part of the storyline through every single novel. If I try to put a bare chest on the cover it better be a young one representing Raven and not his Father.
I thought perhaps I should get more specific so I typed in “Greek male models”.
The pictures popped up and OH MYYYYY….I suddenly knew who at least HALF the handsome men in my little collection are! LOL
Yeah, The Big Guy ROARED with laughter. He did.
BUT, and strangely enough considering I’m looking for Greeks….not one of them hair chest hair. NOT ONE! WTF? All I could think of was the episode of “South Park” where the whole town turns into MetroSexuals. Is that what we’ve come to? What a pity.
Then and quite by accident inspiration struck when a picture, a true Blast from the Past, caught my eye on the screen.
If you’re like 12 or something and don’t know who that is, allow me to introduce you to Paul Stanley from KISS…in his much younger days. That guy’s posters hung all around and even OVER my bed as I stumbled my way through my teenage years.
Nice chest. Good hair. Even got the leather pants. I’m thinking I can work with it or at least amuse myself for a while with them.🙂 No, I won’t use his face. I was thinking of turning the pictures black and white and making the attempt to put this guy’s face on Paul’s younger body
Like I said, if nothing else, it will amuse me for a few hours. BTW, that guy’s HOT. He’s also the face of “Colonel Kevin Smith” in the OBSESSION trailer.
Hey man, if I can’t use the ONE picture I REALLY WANT to use and I can’t find any decent pictures of hot men with masculine chests then I’ll just have to make my own. Of course I’m always open to volunteers too. 6’2 or taller, muscular build, nice hairy chest, dark hair, dark eyes…ya know dusky. If that’s you….for the love of God leave a comment. I’ll pay you! I will!