Christmas Bitch

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Yeah…yeah..yeah…tough. Its my blog. I get to bitch around or about Christmas if I want to. If you don’t like that kindly take the advice I’m about to give you and go away. Got it?


Any-hoo. As most of you know I am no longer a Catholic, a Baptist or a Christian in general. I’m a Pagan and Ares is my God either by hook, crook, choice, or plain old Fate. However, since I once WAS a Catholic and a Baptist and my family is heavily rooted in those traditions, try as I might, I just can’t shake Christmas. And I have tried. Believe me. I have tried. I did manage to ditch Easter. That was nice. I sort of look forward to the day that I might be able to visit New Orleans on Fat Tuesday and stick around for Mardi Gras. (I really do, I’d love that, hell I might even show the crowd my old saggy tits. I’d also like to go on a ‘Haunted Tour’ of the town, but that’s neither here nor there.)

So, like most days, I was attached to Yahoo! News today (I can’t shake it, I’m addicted, I admit it.) This came through to me today Mom’s Mock Letter from Santa to Misbehaving Daughter I read it and I laughed and I even posted that she was a good mom and I hope it worked for her. As a parent, trust me, time is short to ‘threaten’ your kids with Santa and him NOT bringing presents. AND it works. It does. Maybe not forever but at least for a while, as loving parent and sentient adult, you can get a little peace at this time of year to do ALL of the things you NEED to do in order to pull off a wonderful Christmas for your kids. Make no mistake, rich or poor, pulling off a Good Christmas is freakin’ HARD WORK…especially if you’re on the poor side of life. This is why we always tried to stress that Christmas wasn’t about getting great big fancy gifts but rather it was about appreciating your family one day out of the year. Just one. I know we should all do that 24/7/365 but let’s be honest…we don’t. Most of us take our families and friends for granted 24/7/364 so ONE day out of the year isn’t that much to ask no matter who you are, what religion you are, where you live, or what your financial status happens to be. You can pick the day if you want and buck the system but it still seems to be designated to December 25th. That’s ok with me.

Just to be absolutely clear here….Christmas isn’t about cars or diamonds or putting yourself in debt until July just to show a little appreciation. If you do stuff like that like that…you’re a moron and you’re only trying to buy what you are incapable to earning the rest of the year. One day doesn’t make up for you being an asshole the other 364 days of the year.

I know, I know, some of you out there will insist it’s about the Birth of Jesus Christ. To you…I hope you know better, I hope you KNOW that the Big JC was NOT born in December. He was born in summer…maybe even some around what us Pagans call Lammas. But that’s neither here nor there because Christmas has been Shang Haid by the American Public…sorry. I know it sucks for you and I sympathize on that count. I really do.

For argument’s sake, let’s say the Big JC was actually born on December 25th to a virgin in a manager. I’ll capitulate. I will. Mostly because I was raised Roman Catholic with a good smattering of Baptist tossed in and I happen to adore the imagery, pageantry, and ritualistic ways of Christmas.

(To paraphrase Johnny Depp in “Pirates of the Caribbean) Pagan.🙂 And…my people were here first.

OK, so this well-meaning mom gave her daughter a fake note from Santa telling the little girl to be good and that Santa was watching. I see no shame or wrong-doing in that anymore than I see shame and wrong-doing in the Legend of Krampus. (I am German so, ya know, sue me and see how far you get.) People jumped on her. It was awful. MOST posters, who were obviously parents themselves, agreed with her and what she’d done but other people did not. The sad part is that for those who did not it was pretty obvious that they had been disillusioned when they discovered Santa Claus doesn’t actually exist. I don’t know how that realization came about for them but it must have been pretty bad and for that I’m sorry. As someone who grew up adoring Santa Claus and who still believes him to this very day even though I ‘know better’…I’m sorry they are so embittered by the experience they can’t see beyond their own ‘hurt’ and disillusionment. My only solace is in believing they are of the same generation that received ‘awards’ for doing nothing other than showing up to class.

Throughout the day today negative things about Christmas and Santa and well parenting in general have shown up in my Facebook feed. I don’t know why but I DO know that most of it was written by people who are NOT parents. Not to biological children or adopted children (of which I am one) or any child at all. They may be well-meaning and well-intentioned but to those people I would really like to say: Shut the fuck up.


If YOU have NO idea of what it is to raise a child..shut up. You do the entire world a great disservice when you open your educated but life-lacking ignorant mouth. Look, I don’t care what Degrees you have. If you have a Masters in Childhood Development but have never parented a child…shut up. You’re as ignorant as a new born babe regardless of what your text books and professors have tried to teach you. If you have not given up a minimum of 18 years of your life and dedicated it to the development and betterness of someone other than yourself…shut up and get some Real World experience before you try to offer your very lacking opinion. I don’t care what your Degree cost or how long you spent getting it or where it came from…you’re clueless so just admit it. There’s no shame in that. Well, other than the cost, of course. I wouldn’t dare to tell a person with a Masters in Architecture that that the design of their building was crap…even if I thought it was. I wouldn’t tell the tradesman working his/her ass off to build said building that they were ‘doing it wrong’ because I have no Real World idea of how to ‘do it right’ so why do these people feel so free to tell parents that they’re raising their children ‘wrong’? I don’t get it.

Quite honestly I don’t care to ‘get it’.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence.

If you’re too cold hearted to acknowledge that simple fact then I pity you.

Santa Claus lives in the hearts and minds and souls of all Good People of every faith all across the globe. Red suit, toys, and flying reindeer or not, he is the personification of the goodness, love, and sheer joy, that lies within all of us. He is the epitome of that which we as mere mortals with good hearts strive to be every day of our lives; giving, loving, selfless, hard working, and happy.

If YOU can’t understand that then I have only one thing to say to you

About lbdarling

Beware...the truth is spoken here. If you can't handle that...buh-bye.

Posted on 17/12/2014, in Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. i was in new Orleans last week and as i stepped up into Marie Laveau’s voodoo shop ( she was a dedicated catholic) I had the thought that you would really like this place.make the trip but fat Tuesday is the end of Mardi Gras so go a bit earlier.:)

    • Hey you!
      Yes, you’re quite correct, I don’t know why I got that backwards. I would like to visit New Orleans one day and if I do I’ll check out the shop🙂

  2. Well Makes fcking sense to me
    Or was active in raising them for years.

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