Lucy vs. Gone Girl

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I decided to get some movies for the weekend and put out the call on FB as to what I should get. I was considering “Lucy”. Many friends answered that “Lucy” sucks! It isn’t worth renting or watching! However, they praised “Gone Girl”, which is a movie I had been wanting to see but shied away from because I really don’t like Ben Affleck. In fact, I kind of hate him, I think he’s a terrible actor. The best movie I ever saw with him was “Dogma”.

I purchased both movies and brought them home. Hubby had little to no interest in watching either of them so I watched them alone in the bedroom. On Friday I watched “Lucy”. Very disappointing and weird little flick. I could see the inspiration from bad 70s ‘art’ films oozing through and thought the strange little vid clips of ‘nature’ totally unnecessary. There’s a lot of odd little vid clips interspersed throughout the movie in places where it becomes painfully clear that they’re there only because the writer lacked the grasp of the English language to put those thoughts into dialogue or subtext. It has a lot of strange effects, especially in places where I would have rather seen ‘Lucy’ go all ‘Black Widow’ on their asses. I have no idea why or how ‘Lucy’ literally climbed the walls and laid on the ceiling when she was accidentally poisoned with the drug that expands her brain. There are more bobbles throughout the film. A lot of them. Trouble is, I could really see and feel what they were all going for but it all falls so flat simply because of that inability to properly articulate what’s happening. Or maybe the director–who appears to have had one too many ‘shrooms–didn’t think their audience was smart to get the implications on their own. I don’t know. The whole thing is a mash of those bad 70s ‘art’ films and bad 70s Sci-Fi movies. However, I will give it enough credit to say that “Lucy” is a bad film that knows its a bad film and doesn’t make any pretensions about it. It’ll end up in the Halloween Giveaway Bin although I’ll sit through it once or twice before that. Aunty Moon gives it a C-.

Last night I watched “Gone Girl”. I adore Rosamund Pike, I think she’s absolutely beautiful and sexy and so underused in Hollywood. This movie looked really good so, even though I don’t like Ben Affleck, I wanted to like this film. If I hadn’t seen “Lucy” first, I might have liked it, but it ended up reminding of those offbeat but still good B grade 70s flicks that sometimes run in the wee hours of the morning. By the time the movie tells you that Amy is alive you already know she is and you can see most of the rest of it coming. I knew the diary was fake long before I was told it was. The big stinker in the plot is after you find out she’s set up her husband she’s still planning the drama which will culminate in her death. I thought; No way, sister, you’re way too selfish and too much of a Drama Queen of off yourself. So that kind of blew a lot of it for me. When she’s dumb enough to take her massive wad of cash with her to the Mini-Golf course instead of leaving it safe in her room I couldn’t wait for the dynamic-duo to beat the crap out of her and steal her money. They didn’t beat her up enough but they did take the cash. There are so many holes in the plot of this movie that it falls very flat as a thriller or even a suspense flick. It has a nice Hitchcock-esque twist at the end but, personally, I would have tossed the bitch down a flight of stairs so fast you couldn’t heat up Old Sparky quick enough for my angry ass. Anyway, surprisingly enough, the best part of the whole flick is Neil Patrick Harris. He’s really good in this and I ended up rooting for him to turn out to be a serial killer or something. The scene where she kills him is aces and almost makes up for the other parts with all of their holes–plus for half a second you get to see his cock (not impressive but there). This too will end up in the Halloween Bin although I’ll give it another shot first. Aunty Moon gives it a C.

To make up for the badness of these two movies I think tonight I’ll shall have an Avengers Marathon; “Iron Man”, “Thor;The Dark World”, “Captain America; The Winter Soldier”, and then “The Avengers”. Yes, I am anxiously awaiting “The Age of Ultron”. Yes, oh yes I am! I shall be there Opening Weekend with bells on.🙂

About lbdarling

Beware...the truth is spoken here. If you can't handle that...buh-bye.

Posted on 08/03/2015, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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