Introspection


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So, like, I was alone in the office today…again. By that I mean totally, completely, and utterly ALONE. Not even the Painters came in today. I spent my entire day listening to the second-hand on the wall clock behind me tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away.

For 6 hours.

Are you feeling me?

As I sat there wanting with all my being to work on the new website but, instead, cruising the Yahoo! “news” I came to realize I might be crazy. Or at least well on my way to being cray.

Short trip

Thanks! I love you too!

So, at the end of the day when I came home I posted the following to my personal FB page. Feel free to weight-in if you like.

I have come to a realization. I am either 1 – totally weird in the extreme
2- in the vast minority
3- just the royal bitch
if you’d like to vote in the comments please do so.

A lot of things made me feel out-of-place and/or in the vast minority today but none more than these two things.

Racism ‘Rorschach test’. I watched the whole video before I commented. I still don’t see what’s ‘wrong’ with this. Then again I’m white. Perhaps I’m missing something. To me, the ‘hooded figure’ looks quite insane as the police (of whom I am no fan) approach. I also came away from the video and the article feeling very sorry for whatever students Dorothy Bland may have/had since it’s more than crystal clear the woman has no frigging clue that WALKING DOWN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD is a no-no. I watched “Romper Room” and along with ‘Stop, Look, and Listen’ I learned what a sidewalk is for which is why I was so pissed off at having mine IGNORED for fifty years! From that long ago show I also learned to ‘Ride with Traffic’ and to ‘Walk Against Traffic’ along with ‘Cross On The Green; Not In-Between’. Perhaps Ms. Bland would like to watch those old episodes of “Romper Room” so that she too could learn such valuable lessons.

Please…watch the video. I know it’s long and it’s kind of stupid and boring. But watch it. Then let me know if the cops did something ‘wrong’.

I was born in 1966 and grew up calling the Police all types of nasty names; the fuzz, the heat, pigs. Among others. I grew up with a very healthy distrust for ‘authority’

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I taught my kids to be respectful of ‘authority’ I also taught them that ‘authority’ only has the power my children (and you and me) willing give to them.

However, I don’t think that, in this case, the police over stepped said ‘authority’ or that they did anything outrageously wrong.

Do you? Be honest. Comment. Let me know what YOU think.

Look, I’m almost fifty years-old. I’ve been stopped by the cops a lot. Sometimes I deserved it. Sometimes I didn’t. Yeah…and I’m white. In each and every single incident I was asked for my ID. Every freakin’ time. As an American Citizen it is my RIGHT (no matter my color) to tell the cop to fuck off at that point. There’s no Federal Law requiring me…or you…or him…or her…to have ID. This is NOT “Russia”. (Was that racist? Sorry.) However, when the cops stop you because you’re walking down the middle of the street (when there’s an AWESOME sidewalk right next to you), you’re walking WITH the flow of traffic, AND you’re flapping your arms as though you’re actually trying to fly…please, for the love of ALL the Gods, don’t be shocked when the cops ask; “What are you doing?”

Seriously.

No matter your “color” you’re an idiot. I don’t care what Degrees you hold or how smart you think you are. You’re a moron. You are not being persecuted or singled out.

I guess that was the wrong opinion to hold. Personal Responsibility has given way to something like “I’m _____ I can do whatever I want.”

Yeah. Right. With any luck at all, the next time Professor Bland goes “jogging” (yeah, that ain’t ‘jogging’) she’ll get rundown by a Land Rover driven by someone too busy texting to look at the road.

That will take care of two morons. One will be dead and the other in jail.

Win-Win for Society as a Whole!

There was an ‘article’ on the Huffington Post today wherein some ‘relationship expert’ whined and cried about losing her parents. Yes, they’re dead. Bummer. She laid out this whole BS check list for those who haven’t lost a parent to abide by.

I read it.

I wanted to say A LOT. I really did. Please, remember, BOTH my parents are DEAD and they were not horrible parents or abusive or anything like that. However, I refrained and simply kept it to ‘sorry for your loss’. I read the comments and felt like I needed a shower. I love my kids, however, when I die…and I will die…I hope they never feel the same way these little crybabies do. I hope when that day comes that my daughters will realize I raised them to NOT NEED ME. Not that they wouldn’t occasionally miss me but to NOT NEED ME.

Children are supposed to outlive their parents. That’s The Grand Design. They are NOT supposed to outlive their KIDS. That is NOT The Grand Design. If, you as an adult lose your parent(s) to death, instead of living in the past, how about you just be glad for the time that you had them in your life. It seems that’s too much to ask of said ‘adults’.

My Dad died in the blink of an eye. Literally. No one saw it coming. He just dropped dead one day….8 days before Christmas. The DAY he DIED my wonderful mother FORCED me to go out, get my Christmas tree and decorate it because “that’s what Dad would want”. Oh yeah, and just for kicks, my oldest, Miss Nicole at nearly age 3 was the one who found him dead in the bathroom. Yeah, that’s fun. Numb beyond belief, I watched my hubby and my best friend decorate my Christmas Tree in honor of my father. Two days later we buried him.

Oh yeah, that was fun. A joy beyond compare.

8 years later my mother died 2 weeks before Christmas after a very long battle with cancer.

Oh…more joy!

While I was devastated for my KIDS when my mother died, honestly, I lost my mother MONTHS BEFORE she actually perished from the Earth. The shell that gave up the ghost wasn’t my mother. It was, in fact, the ‘blessing’ we all hear about. If, in the final weeks of her life, my mother had been AWARE of what was happening to her, she would have offed herself. Of that, I have no doubt. Catholic or not, she would have taken her own Final Exit.

There I was today, reading about these wimps who can’t handle shit on the Huffington Post all these years later.

I really wanted to give them a piece of my mind. I really wanted to wake them up as well as shake them up but I knew that would be ‘bad’. (No, it wouldn’t.) Let’s just say it wouldn’t be Politically Correct.

However, in the end, my friends and I have nearly ALL lost our parents. We’re half a century old, that’s the deal, babe. Some of us lost our parents when we were quite young which is a tragedy. It is. I feel for those friends of mine. However, most of us have lost our parents ‘on time’. That’s not a tragedy. That’s Life.

In the end, those of us who are truly honest with ourselves, don’t romanticize Life. We don’t live life in the Past or in Woulda-Coulda-Shoulda. As harsh as it sounds, when we came to Acceptance, we were glad. We were elated. We were free. Our lives became OURS wholly, fully, completely. We no longer worried about what our parents thought of our decisions. That realization is the best thing that ever happened to me. It truly has been. No longer living in the shadow of my parents and what they thought has been a blessing. It allowed me to fully be ME. I hope the same is true for my own daughters when I leave this Earth. As a parent, I hope when I take the big dirt nap my kids will no longer have need of me. I hope they will have still wanted me around but not that they NEEDED me.

I loved my parents. They were wonderful people. I still remember them on their birthdays, the anniversary of their deaths, their wedding anniversary and whenever the number 137 crosses my path. I know whenever I see 137 my mother or father is thinking of me.

Backstory…..Once Upon a Time That Will Live Forever in Infamy….my parents went to the dog track. My father LOVED to handicap the races. He told my mother to bet 137 on a trifecta. She went to the window and bet 731 without ‘boxing’ it. They lost THOUSANDS of dollars when the dogs came in 137 just as my father predicted. She never lived it down. He loved her anyway. It’s been a Family Joke ever since.

My mother played 137 on the Daily Numbers the REST OF HER LIFE and never won. LOL

So whenever that number comes up; price of groceries, the time of day, change I receive, the time of day…whatever…I always look up and think; I love you too or Hi, Mom.

My point is; you’re SUPPOSED to OUTLIVE your PARENTS!

You are NOT supposed to outlive your child.

So grow up. Realize Life Happens. Stop living in the Past.

Does that make sense?

The world isn’t out to get you. Your life is what you make of it no matter who you are.

So, here’s your chance. Weigh-in. Am I….
1 – totally weird in the extreme
2- in the vast minority
3- just the royal bitch

G’head. I can take it. Give it to me.

About lbdarling

Beware...the truth is spoken here. If you can't handle that...buh-bye.

Posted on 05/11/2015, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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