Seeing It Through

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Let no one say I haven’t been productive in 2016.

I’ve updated my website.

I’ve created


Yes, “The Doc” Series is now available in one download entitled “Crazy Love”…which was always its title. Just $1.99 on all major retailers. That’s buy-2-get-1-free.

I also managed to restore


Ya like the way I blurred out her nipple? LOL I had it ‘regular’ and then thought I might ‘offend’ someone by showing them what they’re really in store for. oh well. Whatever. I honestly intended to restore the ENTIRE series and no I’m not making anyone ‘pay’ for it. The last hard drive crash was truly the last hard drive crash for that old fanfic. Maybe tomorrow I’ll nudge hubby and see if I can get him to look at that backup drive (it does have six years of pictures on it too!) but for now this is it. Kinda sad. There are 3 novels and I have no idea how many short stories/novellas that go along with this series to see it through to its bittersweet end. I have a couple of the extraneous stories, my favorites, I managed to save them by transporting them to the main drive a few months back.

Oh well.


I was toying with the idea of ‘boxing’ up “Sister Christian” but I really want to manage that last story and give everyone their Happy Ending. Maybe if the snows settle in I’ll be able to do that. I’m still trying very hard to play with The Big Guy who’s getting very pouty at my reluctance to revisit his world in this manner. I mean, ya know, I know, the OF WAR Series didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to and this really is my chance to go back and ‘fix’ all of that–not a reset, no, not that. I hope. That’s what’s holding me back. I don’t want it to be a reset. I want it to be an…Alternative Universe…at least for a short while but knowing Him it could lead to far more than that at I won’t get to come back to the end which is where I prefer it all end up.

This Time Travel thing is a fucking bitch! Too many questions. Not enough answers. Seriously. Where the hell is ‘Doc Brown’ when you need him?

It makes my head hurt and holds me back. I don’t know why he’s doing this to me except to say that in my deepest darkest core I do not believe it is right to go back and completely rewrite something then publish it just because I can. If I did, I’d just tear “Kingdoms of War” apart (with glee cuz I don’t like it!) then do what I thought was best and put it up for sale…as “Kingdoms of War”…again. In the digital self-publishing age, I wouldn’t be the first person to do that by far.

Just go with it.

Fuck you. What do you know? You’re the God of War not the God of Time. Where’s Cronus?

Yeah, you know where he is. In the Pit. Bye-bye.

Hummmm…..still not convinced. Smart People (if they’re out there reading my stuff) will know I’m just winging it. Just going with it. Not direction. No basis. I’ve worked very hard to keep the Greek Gods their Myths and their Legends ALIVE in this series. I did a crap ton of RESEARCH! To ask me to fly blindly now is unthinkable.

Yes but you suck at science…you hate it.


He’s right. I failed science for many years, ok, no, I scraped by with a D in science for many years. Admittedly, that’s mainly because I was sorta kinda cute with a sorta kinda tight bod and I knew how to use those attributes to influence the final grade my male science teachers were going to give me. No, I never touched any of them nor they me. Didn’t have to. Still, I got the D instead of F I actually deserved.

No matter what, in the end, I detested science–every form of it. No creativity. No heart. No soul. Like math, I wanted nothing to do with it.

Now I’m being asked to be some type of brainiac. To travel through Time not once but multiple trips exploring multiple outcomes of stopping Alena’s death culminating in something very…unlikely. Something I don’t like. I don’t want to invest any further in one character, ‘Kate’ from “Stay With Me” only to have to kill her off.

I know. I’m babbling. You don’t understand. That’s ok. Just know this is part of The Process. It could be a very good sign. You know, should I decide to dive head first off a rocky cliff into unknown waters just to satisfy The Big Guy.

You will. Don’t fight. You know you will.

How do you say ‘fuck you’ in Greek?


And the horse you rode in on.😛

About lbdarling

Beware...the truth is spoken here. If you can't handle that...buh-bye.

Posted on 02/01/2016, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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