What’s Wrong With This Picture–Breastfeeding in Public
I want to preface this post by emphatically announcing; I am NOT a feminist!
I don’t think everything every woman does it totally awesome, dudette.
With that in mind, I’d like to present the following:
Now….what’s wrong with this picture? I’ll wait. Go ahead. Stare at it…everyone else has.
OK, if your first response wasn’t something along the lines of She isn’t holding those infants correctly
You can leave. Bye.
I’ve refrained from weighing in on this issue for a long time because I didn’t want to be too harsh or too ‘old fashioned’ but if the newly discovered Robert Palmer Chick
wasn’t enough to chap my ass nothing was ever going to be.
I know a lot of you won’t agree with the following two points and….I don’t care. Not sorry. Tough Titty Said the Kitty.
1- That dress wasn’t made for anything more than putting the girls on display
1A-the patrons paying probably a minimum of $100.00/plate weren’t looking for a sideshow with their escargot.
2- Those infants don’t belong in a fine upscale restaurant….or much of any restaurant other than Mickey D’s or maybe a Dunkin’ Donuts for that matter.
I realize this ad is meant to draw attention to a cause BUT if you can’t look me in the eye and say you are A-OK with the following “natural” activities being conducted in any public place then you’re not doing anything more than jumping around with a big banner that reads Hooray For My Side
1-Urination. Especially for the men out there. Oh my Gods! They LOVE to pee outside. Personally, I don’t understand the attraction but they seem to INSTINCTIVELY desire to pee outside…anywhere…anytime. Seriously, I don’t get it. But…whatever. So, is it ok for them to pee outside, maybe even within 100 feet of school on a Sunday (it’s closed) and NOT be charged as a ‘sex offender’?
2-Defecation…not my thing but…whatever. Is pooping on the sidewalk ok? It is a natural bodily function. Ya know, Everybody Poops.
3- Sex. We love it. All of us with a functioning limbic system anyway. So were I in the above restaurant and wanted to get my freak on, would it be ok to just throw everything on the table to the floor and get down n dirty? What the hell? If feeding the baby any place, any time, any where, is ok….what’s wrong with seeing it conceived? It’s natural. Normal.
4- Being naked. Clothes are not a “natural” state. They’re a societal restriction. We come in to this world naked and we go out the same way no matter what fancy duds our grieving relatives put on us before placing us into the casket or onto the pyre. Can I walk around nude? Do you really wanna see that? Seriously.
5-Menstruation. Totally “natural” completely “normal”. You don’t mind if I remove my tampon here in the sunshine of the local park next to the swing set, do you? I’ll dispose of it properly after I inset another one.
6-Boogers. Bothersome yet naturally created by my body they are. Need to be picked they do. You don’t mind if I just ‘dig for gold’ right here next to you, right?
If you said; Eh, maybe not to any of the above please lower your banner now.
Don’t get me wrong I’m not ‘against breastfeeding’…I’m not. I chose to avoid it and both of my daughters were on soy formula the first six months of their lives. If that’s not for you….ok. I understand. Go for it.
The only tiny considerations I’m asking of you are the same self-respecting considerations I’d ask of those in the above scenarios; a little discretion, please. A little planning is also good. Yes, the baby is hungry when the baby is hungry and needs to be fed right then so find out what your baby’s feeding schedule actually IS and plan accordingly. Plan to excuse yourself to the use of YOUR CAR or at least use a cover if you’re going to sit at the table in a restaurant (fine or otherwise) and be mindful of those who came to that place to also ‘enjoy’ themselves. Don’t be ‘shocked’ or ‘offended’ when someone stares/glares at you if you just ‘whip it out’ right then and there. I mean, you’d be ‘shocked’ and ‘offended’ if the guy at the table next to you just decided to put his dick out there for all to see, wouldn’t you? Maybe it needs a little ‘airing’ maybe his pants are getting ‘too tight’. His erection is natural. Don’t you want to see it?
Awwww….well, I just hope that poor guy doesn’t feel any ‘shame’ over your desire not to gaze upon the glory of his natural erection. That would be terrible….wouldn’t it?