An Amazing Thing Happened

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I had to do the following about a year ago and decided to do it again in an attempt to save my sanity.

For the last couple of days I spent time cleaning up my personal Facebook. No, I didn’t unfriend anyone, but I did do a lot of unfollowing and/or hiding posts. I turned off notifications for almost every single book/author group I belong to, and each time some book/publishing ad popped up I clicked ‘I don’t want to see this’.

Today my FRIENDS showed up in my feed! My actual friends. Can you believe it? That’s amazing! Some of them, sad to say, I totally forgot were there! So I spent some more time going to their pages and clicking ‘see first’. Ahhhh….so much better. Instead of reams of book ads/teasers/sales I’m seeing what my friends have to say, I forgot how funny some of them are. I didn’t realize how much I missed them or how much the FB algorithms can mess everything up for a person. Along with the ditched ads and sponsored content for books/authors/publishing/how-to-write another new thing happened; I’m getting ads for things that actually interest me. Oh, I have GOT to go to, oh my, what nice stuff they have, right up my alley.🙂 This Zulily place looks really good too. I got all kinds of new recipes and news on world events. Saw lots of funny videos, including one a long-time friend made mocking Donald Trump, it was freakin’ hilarious and I would have missed it if I hadn’t cleaned house. A whole wonderful world that actually pertains to ME opened up as opposed to a tiny little box that only concerns one aspect of me.

I’m sure some people out there in Blogland think I’m just a horrible Indie Writer for having done this but, as you’re cursing me, keep in mind that when it comes to the authors that are my ‘friends’ I don’t know 95% of them. I don’t have a single clue as to who they are. I can tell you about their books but not a damn thing about them as people. They don’t interact with me and whenever I’ve tried interacting with most of them over the years I hardly ever even got a ‘like’ on a comment. BTW, I wouldn’t even consider buying 95% of their books and the overwhelming majority of their teasers make me cringe. They do. Not gonna apologize for that one. Not because they’re poorly done but because so many of them are 5 lines or less of someone about to have sex, usually with the woman being told by some lunkhead “You’re mine for the night, do what I say.” Then, of course, she just quivers and falls at his feet.

Yeah…I don’t think so. Tell me about the rest of the story, there is more to it, right?

Yes, I know, its Social Media and I’m supposed to use it for networking but I’d rather use it for having fun and not trying to sell stuff like my books. In fact, over the years, I’ve been very conscious when I post about my books so that I don’t end up annoying the crap out of people with that stuff. I post a couple of times about some sale/giveaway/new release/guest post and let it go. I do the same on my Twitter (yes, I know, I don’t use that for much of anything, in fact, I really don’t like it and only have the account because I’m ‘supposed to’). I don’t do Instagram. I have a Pintrest account, again because I was ‘supposed to’ have one but I don’t use that either. I have a Tumblr account, can’t remember how to access it to save my soul same goes for my Reddit account. I’ve tried signing up for Social Media sites dedicated to books but most of them never really take off and that’s too bad because I’d enjoy that, some place just to huck and shuck my books and promote other people’s books for the simple reason that that’s why everyone is actually there. Goodreads doesn’t really count the way its set up though I do try to pop over there every now and then. I don’t add books to shelves, been there and done that, didn’t increase any sales. I tried LibraryThing, same deal, Shelfari (does it still exist?) ditto.

I did the same thing with my email; I got off every freakin’ author/publisher newsletter that popped up in my gmail the last few days. Today I got a bunch of crap from people wanting to help me with my website… Yeah, sorry Charlie, in case ya didn’t notice, there are no books there anymore but it was a nice try. Now my email is manageable and I don’t cringe when I open it knowing I have to go through and click ‘delete’ a couple dozen times. It’s not like any of them were particularly helpful unless I wanted to spend oodles of advertising money with them and most of them send out more emails telling authors how to advertise with them and the Author of the Day/Week/Month than they did anything else.

Now that everything is nice and tidy again; I hereby do solemnly swear never to sign up for another mailing list as described above and to keep my personal Facebook account settings exactly the way they are. One must be a friend of a friend to send me a ‘friends request’ and, no, you can’t message me if I don’t know you. You can’t post on my page either. If you want to be my ‘friend’ there maybe you should drop me an email letting me know. I’ll check you out on FB and let you know. Other than that, please click ‘like’ on the author/fan page. Not that’s any great shakes, mostly it’s just a relay for posts here in Ye Olde Blog and sometimes I post about those sales/giveaways/new releases/guest posts though that doesn’t do me much good because FB really really really wants me to spend money advertising with them. So it’s best just to post a funny video or an image with information on it. Funny videos get HUNDREDS of views! No matter what time of day or night I post them. Info on the newest sale/giveaway/book (with a link provided), yeah, no, dozens of people MIGHT see it if I’m lucky. So that’s pretty useless but still necessary so it stays.

I dumped the Moon Mistress Publishing FB page. People were suddenly ‘liking’ it all over the place and I had totally forgotten it was even there! I hadn’t posted on it in FOUR YEARS! Why would you ‘like’ that page????? Weird.

In the end, if you’re one of my author ‘friends’ on my personal FB page and you’re now offended….feel free to hide my posts, unfollow me, or just unfriend me. I won’t know and I won’t care. If you want me to pimp your books, feel free to hit me up on the author/fan page, I’ll throw out your links/teasers whatever…no problem. Even if I don’t particularly like them, I’m happy to do that for you on that page.

As for my personal page, it’s personal again and I like it.

Tonight I’m celebrating with some Chester’s Barbecue (BEST BBQ in CT! Not covered in sticky icky sauce!), some movies, and long warm cuddles with my hubby of almost 30 years. Can you believe that? In 25 days we’ll be MARRIED 30 YEARS!

Honestly, from the heart and bottom of my very soul, most of my author ‘friends’ aren’t 30 years-old and the rest have no clue what it is to invest like that in a single relationship. They may write ‘romance’ but when it comes to the commitment and work it takes for a long-term relationship….nada.

I couldn’t be prouder of my upcoming 30th Wedding Anniversary or of our 2 daughters. My husband and I have built a LIFE together. A non-fiction LIFE.

While I LOVE writing my LIFE is so much more than my books. It really is.

About lbdarling

Beware...the truth is spoken here. If you can't handle that...buh-bye.

Posted on 04/03/2016, in The Writer's Life, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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