That Damn Promo Wheel


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Ya know, if I didn’t absolutely LOVE writing and telling stories I wouldn’t put myself through this crap. I really wouldn’t. I have no illusions of becoming a “Best Selling Author” and making a million dollars anymore. I really don’t. That ship sailed a long long long time ago.:)

However, I do still need to get the word out about a new release. And since I do still believe my stories are worth something…anything…they’re still ‘for sale’. Although my heart really wants to go back to just giving them away because that’s where I, personally, am happiest. But if I do that I can’t pay for promotional services. I’d have to go back to relying solely on Word of Mouth. Well, maybe not, I gave away nearly 500 stories when I put them up for free on Smashwords not that long ago. Then again, there are people out there who are simply Book Hoarders. That means they download every single free book they come across and never read them. Never mind review them or BUY another book by an author. So it’s a double-edge sword. Damned if you do. Damned if you don’t. And I’d go full-tilt-boogie if I didn’t actually have a LIFE. But I do have LIFE so that makes it difficult. You know, a husband away in MA, 2 kids who call constantly to check on Mom (Gods love ’em), 3 cats who depend on me, a job, a yard, a garden, a house….I GOT SHIT TO DO. You feelin’ me play-a? I can’t spend my entire life online like some other authors seem to do. I figure they got money to begin with and possibly nothing outside their books. That last part is sad. The first part…man I wish I had it. LOL

Any-hoo, I’ve spent days tracking down blogs and sending out personalized respectful sweet kind emails to them hoping they’ll let me on their site. I must have contacted 50 of them already. Guess how many responses I’ve received.

Six.

That’s right.

Six.

Thank the Gods for those kind folks! I’ve already taken care of them even though I’m not going to be on their sites/blogs until August 30th. That’s right, i’ve sent those six nice people the promo/spotlight/interviews they asked for. No sense in keeping them waiting.

Just so you can see I’m not BSing you here’s the standard email I’m sending them (personalized with site/blog owners name and name of the blog)


Greetings ______,

I would like to inquire with regard to having an author spotlight, guest post, interview or other promotional post of your choice on your site ______ in conjunction with my upcoming release “Prodigal Son”. This novel is slated for wide release on August 30, 2016. It is the fourth and final installment in my Sister Christian series. I realize the title can be misleading, however, although in large part this series in suitable for a Christian audience it is *not* a Christian or religious series. It is a family drama centering around a long-lost brother and sister.

The blurb for “Prodigal Son” is as follows:
When the Hour is Darkest Love and Faith Can Conquer All.
In the final installment of the Sister Christian Series, the Court has demanded a hearing regarding Hannah’s capacity. Hannah and Nick are falling deeper and deeper in love. Looking forward to a bright future together they begin planning their life together. A shadowy stranger from the past has set his sights on Hannah and her 3.5 million dollar trust fund. Is he really Rick MacNeill, the son Hannah thought died in the terrible fire at Saint Anne’s? Is he someone sinister? The last of the family secrets come to light in this roller coaster ride of suspense, love, betrayal, and faith.

I am not seeking reviews for this story, however, should you like to review it ARCs will be ready on July 31, 2016. I would be happy to send you one at that time in the format of your choice. Should you care to review the previous stories in this series I can send them to you upon receiving your request. You may discover more about the Sister Christian series (as well as several other books of mine) by visiting either my Amazon page http://www.amazon.com/author/lisadarling or by visiting my website http://www.lisabethdarling.com. My books are also available on Nook, Smashwords, Kobo, and iBooks.

Please let me know if you would have space for me to appear on your site any time between August 1, 2016 and September 14, 2016.

Thank you very much for your time and attention. I look forward to hearing from you.

Trust me, most bloggers don’t make it easy just to find the owner’s NAME. I put the name of the blog in the email in case any of them get in touch with me because they have no sig lines with their web address. If I didn’t put the blog/site name in the email I’d have no idea who was responding to my simple request.

I also got in touch with two Blog Tour Companies that I used in the past. One of which I really enjoyed being with them. The other offers the biggest shotgun approach I’ve ever seen and I had good luck with their giveaway (over 4,000 entries) but I don’t think I can trace any actual sales back to them. I haven’t heard back from them yet. Hopefully I will. I know for sure I’ll sign up with Goddess Fish again. They were just so damn nice and accommodating I can’t see going with any other Blog Tour Company again. It was the best experience I ever had in that respect. So if they say ‘yes’ I’ll plunk down my $69.00 and be on several dozen sites in one day. I looked into other places like Book Bub but I’m soooo NOT paying $500.00 just to advertise I have a book available for $0.99. There’s no ROI there, at least not for me because I don’t write for the mainstream public. Hell, just in looking at their book categories I couldn’t find one that “Prodigal Son” actually fits into. So….no.

In fact, if I actually had to write for the mainstream public I’d probably just throw in a puke covered towel and say; “I’m done. Here’s my stuff, take it for free if you want it.”

I even spent a few hours looking into “Christian” book blogs.

Gods help me, I did.

But most of them don’t want me either. Not enough “God” in this series. Go figure.

Then I have to deal with List/Group Moms who think they know everything about everything because 1-they have NO LIFE and 2-they had 1 kinda-sorta-maybe “best selling” book. I hate overly controlling people. I do. I left a few lists and groups today. I don’t need a ‘teacher’. I don’t need some hack who once wrote a decent story but can’t come up with another one who wants to stifle everyone else and their Freedom of Speech just because they don’t agree with her.

NEWSFLASH—the majority of Internet Based “publishing companies” DO NOT OFFER AN ADVANCE. If you go with one, yes, you are still “traditionally published”. But one list/group mom couldn’t understand that fact. Unless you sign with one of the Big Six (and their multitude of subsidiaries) you’re screwed…you’re not getting an advance. Ask me, I actually know. I’ve been accepted multiple times by such companies and offered the crappiest 5-year contracts you can imagine. I turned every single one down. Five of them went out of business within a year of my refusal. One….one…is still in business and seems to be doing well. I’m almost sorry I turned them down but they were way too eager. They wanted ALL of the books in the OF WAR Series without even reading them. Again…no advance. And they openly admitted to me that they couldn’t take me any further than I’d already gone but they still wanted 60%.

Yep. Born at night but not LAST night.

If that means I remain an Unknown until the day I die that’s fine with me.

The good news is I received word from one of my beta readers and she loved the story. She cried in all the right places. So I guess it doesn’t totally suck after all. Ya know, every time I finish a story I look at it and go; This fucking SUH-CKS! Why do I do this? I’m a hack!

Maybe I’m not.

I’ll keep grinding away and hoping something comes of it. What else can I do?

Buy a lottery ticket

Fuck you.

I need my dollar way more than the State does.

I Love My Brothers


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Hubby went back to Massachusetts today. I got up at 4:30am to see him off. 4-motherfucking-thirty. I went back to sleep on the couch or tried to anyway. With the cats and all. I got up, took a shower, had coffee, and went into work.

At the end of the day my boss looked at me and said: “Would you like to work until 3 o’clock every day? I mean, ya know, for so long as your husband is away.”

My jaw hit the floor as I mumbled, “No, that’s ok, you don’t need me here that much….”

“Look at me,” he said, “You always get 8 done in 5. Always. So, would you like to work until 3? We really don’t want you to be alone any longer than you have to be.”

I looked around thinking; No, I don’t want to suck off the Union, I don’t want to be leech. I really don’t. It’s ok. I’m fine. Thanks so much anyway.

I was promptly reminded that I have 5 “brothers” attached to that office who know I’m alone and that I might possibly be afraid when I go home at night even though I’ve never said anything like that to them. Five “brothers” who reminded me emphatically that they would be at my door any time of the day or night if I needed them. All I have to do is call. Because, after all, as they told me; “We’re family.” BTW, they’re all licensed to carry. Just ya know, so ya know you people out there in Cyberspace. The nearest one is less than 10 minutes away and believe me when I tell you he will KICK YOUR ASS…no questions asked. All I have to do is hit speed-dial. I don’t even have to say anything after that before he’s in his truck on his way to my door.

Look, at my last job I got 16 done in 4 every Monday because my old boss refused to GO HOME on Saturday and Sunday. Every Monday morning I walked into work to a pile of shit that made me CRY…every freakin’ Monday. I never got an extra nickel for it. So, I nearly broke down in tears as I kept protesting; no, no, no, that’s ok, you really don’t NEED me…

“Yes we do, fuck that, yes we DO NEED YOU here. So, what do you say?”

I said; “Yes! Thank you!”

So I’ll be at my desk at the Union Hall another hour every day. Because that place is just that awesome. Four years ago when I reported here in Ye Olde Blog that I’d found a job and it felt like ‘home’…I guess I wasn’t kidding. I guess it was real.

So thanks everyone at my job. Thanks for wanting me. Thanks for needing me. I’ll do my best never to let you down!

Can Anybody Tell Me What Year This Is?


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Seriously. I mean it. What fuckin’ year is this?

I woke up this morning…after actually getting some sleep last night…fed the cats, made coffee, turned on the news and…holy shit! WTF? The very first thing I thought to myself was that I must have been put in a Time Machine as I slept. It looks a lot more like 1968 (give or take) than 2016 out there. The second thing I thought to myself was; anyone out there who didn’t see this coming is either blind as bat or just wasn’t paying attention.

That’s not to justify or defend what happened in Dallas last night. No, no, no, not at all. Please don’t think I give my personal Seal of Approval to that crazy shit. However, being the Libra that I am, I can’t help but understand what inspired it.

I was born in 1966 and I grew up in a time of turmoil and unrest. We had war on TV every single night in full living color with our dinner. The real deal not the watered down BS you get now. So that was fun. We had Race Riots and Protests and the Civil Rights Movement and all that happy-crappy. So anyone in MY generation who wants to tell you something like ‘that’s not how it was back in my day’ is either lying or in the early stages of Alzheimer’s. I also grew up with the understanding that, no matter our skin color, we’re all human beings. Just people. There’s ONE race and that’s the HUMAN race. Even though it was all around me I grew up not being prejudiced or bigoted or racist. I just saw people. That was what the Civil Rights Movement wanted me to see and they were right.

In 2016 I’m given to understand that was wrong. I was supposed to be seeing ‘color’ all along. I think that’s bullshit to. I think it’s one of the things that has led to current events, not just Dallas but all of that crap that’s been going down these last few years. But mostly, I think there’s a whole bunch of people–on both ‘sides’– who can’t let go of the past and move forward. Why? I dunno. Maybe it scares them. Frightened people are dangerous just like a corner animal is dangerous. They lash out. They do stupid shit. But unlike 1966 or even 1976 when they do it in 2016 it makes the Internet in a massive way. We didn’t have any Internet. No Social Media. We just had ‘the news’. The REAL news not the crap you have today. You know, people who were educated and trained journalists. Now you have a bunch of jerks who color–no pun intended–everything the way they want you to see them. That too goes for both ‘sides’–Left and Right. Nobody just tells the truth anymore, that’s too boring. It doesn’t get enough ratings or hits or comments or what-the-hell-ever. Personally, I don’t think most people would even know The Truth if it walked right up slapped ’em across the face a few times and screamed “HI! HERE I AM!” They’re just too wrapped up in themselves and their narrow scope of what they believe to be reality. I guess I understand, after all, that’s comfortable for them and me of all people understand Comfort Zones. But that doesn’t mean I refrain from pushing myself beyond those boundaries at least from time to time to expand my horizons and my World View. It certainly doesn’t mean I completely hide from the Real World nor that I lock myself in with a…weapon and become some xenophobic asshole. (Trying to be nice here–I really want to say P—with a G—)

Any-hoo….I’m not totally ignorant either. We’ve discussed this before here in Ye Olde Blog. Americans of African heritage have it tough. They do. They always have. I sympathize and I try to understand how Americans of European heritage can be such jerkwads. But even though I am an American of European heritage (among other heritages) I just can’t wrap my head around it. Maybe because I don’t have fear or hate in my heart and I kinda like it that way. Maybe because even though I’m the worst kind of person imaginable; A Realist…I really long to be an Idealist. You know, like those hippies who blazed a trail for me. I want the world to be the way they envisioned.

But I know it’s more like

And worse yet

In the end, I swear to you upon everything that’s Good, Right, and Just in this world there really IS ONLY ONE RACE on Planet Earth.

If we don’t put all our effort behind that, ALL of US, then we’re doomed. We’re fucked. Completely. Wholly. Totally. We’ll just keeping repeating this cycle over and over and over and over again.

So from one old Hippie Realist who longs to be an Idealist to you who and whatever you are out there in Cyberspace….

There is NO ‘Them’… there is ONLY ‘Us’. We stand together or we fall into the pits of despair. There we will stay drowning in our own misery.

Black Lives Matter.

Blue Lives Matter.

All freakin’ LIVES MATTER.

This IS a Test, not ‘just a test’, but the Big Test. If we fail it….we’re all fucked.

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